Retro Thing

Build a Sound Lab mini synthesizer

Analog synthesizers have a reputation for being expensive and finicky. Ray Wilson's Sound Lab sets out to change this perception. It's a straightforward design that can be built for less than $100, if you're careful. You'll have to dream up your own case and front panel design, but that's half the fun.

Once finished, this little sound box will produce a variety of musical (and not so musical) squeaks and squawks from its twin analog oscillators, state-variable resonant filter, low frequency oscillator and amplitude envelope. Be warned that this project isn't a good choice for noobs and that you'll have to perform a few tweaks (such as a fine-tuning mod) to make it truly useful in a musical setting.

A bare circuit board is available for $30 (plus $5 shipping) and a full parts kit is available for $176 (AUS) from Elby Designs. By the way, if you're interested in MIDI-enabled analog kits, be sure to check out PAiA's fantastic Fatman synth.

Sound Lab Mini-Synthesizer

The "Art" of Paint By Number Paintings

For those of you yet to indulge your muse for quasi-art, Paint By Number kits make painting easy.  Available since the 1950's, kits include a pre-printed canvas board with the subject depicted by numbered regions. Each number corresponds to a little tub of paint included in the kit.  Grab one of the included brushes, and simply fill in the bits of the painting and you get a sort of quantized looking image - like a thermograph or elevation map.

This signature look can be more than a little garish at times, and this stoked an argument in the 50's over Paint By Number's artistic validity.  The argument was that Paint By Numbers were detrimental to art, reducing art to mere decor, and lessening the overall value of painting. 

The book linked below explores this topic, but it seems a bit silly to me.  Paint By Number projects may use the same tools as "artistic" painting, but I suspect that few hobbyists mistook their pre-fab fill-in-the-blank work for actual art.  On the upside I imagine that many picked up the hobby of painting who may not have otherwise.

In any case, you can save yourself tens of millions of dollars by creating your own paint-by-number versions of great masterpieces.  In some cases the effect actually works, especially those kits inspired by impressionist art, or animal portraits.  Those kits that don't copy some established art piece offer sujects like religious imagery, autumn days, or tourist destinations - in other words an efficient and simplified representation of some blandish topic.

Over the last few years, Paint By Number's stock in kitsch and ironic culture has risen.  So much so that I often see them at antique stores for $50 instead of thrift stores for $2 as they should be (mine are from the thrift, thank you very much...).  The kits are still available today at good prices, so if you're looking for an afternoon's diversion - and whether you're looking for piety or pulchritude - Paint By Numbers may be exactly what you're looking for.

Help out Retro Thing by buying this book on Paint By Number

Paint By Number of eight vintage masterpieces

Paint By Number 2007 calendar that you create!

Fantastic Plastic

I gained access to a little model making shed in Oxford at the tender age of eight. Many hours days were squandered in that stuffy little hut. My initial attempts were pitiful -- military vehicles that looked like they'd been cocooned by marauding glue-based lifeforms for an episode of Doctor Who.

I eventually improved my manual dexterity and built up a reasonable immunity to glue fumes. I also picked up a few tricks of the trade (in a nutshell: open the damn window, less glue is best, pins and toothpicks work wonderfully to apply glue in hard to reach spots, and remember to put the pin down before scratching one's nose).

Maybe this explains: (a) why I have a soft spot for plastic models, and (b) why I'm not a Nobel prizewinner.

"Fantastic Plastic is a scale modeling site that celebrates the weird, the wonderful, the odd, the radical, the exotic and the just plain cool air- and spacecraft designs that have been captured in styrene (and resin) over the past half century. From bizarre WWII-era "project planes" to the latest sci-fi concepts, here is a chronicle of Man's highest aspirations as expressed through his flying machines, both real and imagined."

Visit Fantastic Plastic (don't forget to browse their online store, which features some "never before released" limited edition designs.)

Groovy Magneplanar ribbon speakers

Bohus recently wrote about an eBay Auction for some groovy vintage Magneplanar speakers. I'm a sucker for anything flat and electronic, so I poked around the 'Net to see it the company is still alive and kicking. Much to my delight, they are.

"In 1969, Jim Winey invented the Magneplanar, a thin-film magnetic equivalent to the electrostat and started the company Magnepan, a speaker based company currently manufacturing home theater system speakers. Live music creates large area soundwaves having characteristics that can't be duplicated by little box speakers. Soundwaves emanating from live music help us determine 'is it Live or is it a speaker?' Reproducing large area soundwaves requires a speaker with a large surface area."

The company has sold more than 200,000 speakers over their 37 year history. Their 48 inch tall MMG is billed as the world's least expensive planar/ribbon speaker. It's sold direct from the factory at the outstandingly reasonably price of $550/pair. The MMG is available in natural or black solid oak trim with off-white, grey or black fabric. It offers 50 - 24 kHz frequency response (±3 dB) and requires an amplifier capable of driving a 4 Ohm impedance.

Magnepan MMG floor-standing ribbon speakers

Disney comic strip artist's guide

Carson Van Osten is a well known Disney illustrator who inked countless Disney comic books. In the mid 1970s he put together a brilliant panelized how-to guide that encapsulates years of hard-won cartooning knowledge on seven witty pages. After circulating around Disney, it became a runaway underground classic.

Carson recently stumbled across a grainy scanned Xerox of his handout on Mark Kennedy's Temple of the Seven Golden Camels site. Inspired by the positive comments, he forwarded an original copy of the handout to Mark, who posted beautiful high-resolution scans for everyone to enjoy.

Comic Strip Artist's Kit: Redux

Synclavier: the ultimate 1980s music production system

It's a good thing I didn't win a lottery in the 1980s because I would have blown my millions on a New England Digital Synclavier. It just happens to be the most expensive digital music synthesizer/sampler ever created -- a price tag of $200,000+ wasn't uncommon. What you got for your money was a massive rack (or racks) containing a custom-designed 16-bit music computer.

Depending on your wealth, each system offered up to 96 voices of 16-bit sample playback, along with 32 metallic-sounding FM synthesizer voices. A 'direct to disk' recording option to capture vocals and acoustic instruments arrived in the late 1980s. You also got a very geeky looking monochrome graphic terminal to program the beast (eventually replaced by an Apple Mac running terminal emulation software).

Make your own photographic emulsion

If you're tired of paying The Man at Kodak or Fuji, why not try your hand at creating your own photographic emulsion? This silver-based mixture is intended to be coated on glass or film (yes, you get to play with a squeege). You'll need some sort of large-format camera that can accept a photographic plate (this technique will work wonderfully with a simple homemade pinhole camera as well).

The ingredient list reads like a toxic flavor of Jello: Gelatin, potassium bromide, potassium iodide, and silver nitrate. Remember that your emulsion is light-sensitive and you'll have to work in a darkroom with illumination from a safelight. If you're not adventurous enough to mix your own, you can buy premixed liquid emulsion from Photographers' Formulary.

Make a simple film emulsion (via a thread started by Paul Cotto at filmshooting.com)

Vitual vintage Mercedes-Benz designs

[Update: André has confirmed that these are beautifully photoshopped images, not real preproduction vehicles.]

André Schaefer's CWW Car Design site offers a beautiful look at some vintage Mercedes-Benz design mockups. Some -- like this incredibly hideous minivan -- are too terrifying to contemplate, but there are some quite attractive vehicles here as well.

Mercedes-Benz Vintage Wannabes

Homemade 747 Flight Simulator

Believe it or not, you're looking at a homemade Boeing 747-400 simulator. Australian Matthew Sheil started work on this beauty in 1998 and it's now mounted on a motion platform that features three McFadden 310A Motion Systems for added realism (as if duplicating every switch and panel in a 747 cockpit wasn't realistic enough).

An attached PC runs Aerowinx Precision Simulator software to provide authentic 'glass cockpit' instrumentation. Where possible, the machine is built using genuine Boeing parts, such as modified 737 control yokes and a center panel that prominently features throttles from an early 747. I wonder if Sheil and crew eat airline food during their "flights?"

Homemade 747 Simulator (site prefers IE, via Red Ferret)

A skeptical look at the eGo Cycle 2 electric moped

Scooters make ideal second vehicles. The vast majority of these little beasts are gasoline powered, but an increasing number of electric models are beginning to glide silently though cities worldwide. Mary Jensen recently posted her impressions of the eGo Cycle 2 on Treehugger. It's a nifty $1199 electric scooter that's capable of reaching 24 mph (38 kph). The eGo weighs a mere 130 lbs and offers a practical 25 mile (40 km) range on a 6 hour charge that costs a mere 8 cents. Mary seems quite happy with her little runabout, but I'm more hesitant.

My thoughts? Think twice before buying this or any other limited speed electric vehicle that's unable to keep up with traffic. The eGo Cycle's poky top speed means that you'll often be forced to ride on the shoulder of the road, where you're forced to deal with rocks, gravel, garbage and the occasional stray hubcap. You're denied the right to "own" a full lane like a car, motorcycle or scooter. This increases the odds that a stray Hummer will force you into a curb or accidentally cut you off as it makes a right-hand turn in front of you. You're also faced with a dilemma when trying to turn left -- you're suddenly forced to putter away from the relative safety of the curb and into the path of much faster vehicles.

Another count against these vehicles is that they don't require registration or a motorcycle license in many jurisdictions. This might lull potential riders into a false sense of security by intimating that vehicles such as the eGo Cycle 2 aren't "real" motor vehicles that requires skill and training to ride competently. Sadly, that's miles from the truth. A 24 mph top speed is fast enough that riders need to have a solid practical understanding of counter-steering and emergency maneuvering. Experience on a bicycle doesn't equip you to drive a motor vehicle.

All in all, I think it's far safer to consider a more capable conventional scooter that's able to keep up with traffic. Your local safety council might even offer practical hands-on scooter training that could save your life.

eGo Cycle 2: Great style and fewer emissions than your Vespa

Buran: The first Russian shuttle to reach space

Space Shuttle Buran launched from Baikonur Cosmodrome on November 15, 1988. It promised a new age in Soviet space flight. Outwardly, Buran resembled the American space shuttle but there were several important differences. The most apparent was the monstrous Energia heavy-lift rocket system, capable launching the shuttle with up to 100 tonnes of cargo -- three times the capacity of the American model.

The Energia rocket was capable of full oribital insertion, allowing Russian designers to do away with the bulky engines required by the American design -- the Soviet shuttle's thrusters were required only for manuevering. In addition, the Buran-Energia system was designed to be fully reusable. The shuttle, rocket and liquid-propellant Zenit boosters could be reconditioned and reused.

The Buran flew only one automated (and unmanned) space flight - orbiting Earth twice in 206 minutes - before returning successfully to the ground. Sadly, the political and economic situation in Russia resulted in the cancellation of the project in 1993. Shuttle Buran was destroyed when Baikonur Cosmodrome Building 112 collapsed in 2002, but Buran's sister ship Ptichka ("Little Bird") was more than 95% complete when the program was canceled and currently resides in the MIK hanger at the Baikonur complex.

A comparison of two shuttles: USA vs. USSR

Soviet mice

The Soviet Union was the source of some wonderfully cool-yet-utilitarian computing devices in the 1980s and 1990s. Their no-nonsense design ethic carried over to peripherals. These "manipulators for graphical information" were built to last -- check out the massive cables.

I'm especially fond of the model that features a flat ribbon cable. Not only do you get a great arm workout, but James Bond will be able to use your mouse to rappel down the outside of the building after stealing you top secret missile plans and your girlfriend. [thanks, Marble River!]

The Manipulator For Graphical Information

Swanky Lady Barware

Honestly we could be here all day if we were to talk about novelty barware.  I don't know when the first ur-novelties might have slithered out of the primordial hops & barley, but I've got to think that since there have been taverns, there have been jokey little things to litter around the bar.  As if drinking alone weren't fun enough...

Here's the gag with these glasses.  On the front of the drinkware are four lovely leisure-time ladies.  Very shapely, yet very pointy in that unique 1950's way.  You may not know it yet, but the ladies' painted-on smirks hide a little secret.

You fill the glasses with some opaque libation, then as the sucker enjoys the drink he'll eventually sight the ladies' backsides from inside the glass!  Ladies in the altogether with only a pair of maracas and a dim recollection of something their mothers warned about virtue.

Of course your victim will just die of embarrassment, right?  Certainly no one in their right mind would ogle the nudies on these glasses.  That would just be tacky.

Lots of novelty barware seems to make much of being a sloppy drunk or a boor.  I don't think that I'm either, and like my novelties to reflect that.  I hope that none of our readers will be particularly offended by these images.  I think that they're more emblematic of boyish mischief than anything else.

Retro Thing Top 10 Lists

We've only succeeded in publishing one 'Top 10' list in Retro Thing's entire existence because the gnomes tend to get carried away and end up with odd numbers like 19. With that admission out of the way, here's a look at some of the 'Top X' lists that have graced these pages over the past year or so:

Retro Thing's 'Top 20 Retro Cars': I think this one actually grew to include 25 cars by the time it appeared in my book. One thing many of these vehicles share is simplicity, although several were technically flawed or suffered from massive variations in quality. One final note: accurately ranking these retrocars was  almost impossible -- they're all bucket loads of fun.

Retro Thing's 'Top 19 Oddball Microcomputers': People tend to forget that for every well-known microcomputer like the Apple II or the Commodore 64, there were dozens of less popular designs. Here's an introduction to a few of strange beasts from the late 1970s and early 1980s, including the Mattel Aquarius, Cambridge Z88 notepad, Jupiter ACE, and the Commodore PET 64 'Frankenputer'.

Retro Thing's 'Top Ten Retrocomputers': Here's a glimpse of some old-school micros that you can still get your hands on today. Some are original hardware that has been hiding in the back of a warehouse for 20 years, while other machines are modernized recreations of vintage hardware and software. Either way, they offer the vintage experience without having to scour swap meets and classified ads. And before you start mumbling about the lack of a few classics, remember that the list only features machines you can actually buy right now.

Classic Retro Thing: Strange Cameras

There's a lot more to the world of photography than digital and 35mm. Here are a few weird and wonderful medium-format and special purpose cameras. The great thing about oddball cameras is that they're usually quite cheap. It should be easy to pick up one or two of these wonderful gadgets for around $20.

Fujipet: A beautiful example of post-war design. Originally released in 1957 to shoot medium format (6x6cm negative) film, but the rising popularity of 35mm encouraged Fuji to introduce the Fujipet 35 in 1959.

Seagull: These Chinese-made devices produce respectable images and are priced from an incredibly affordable $140. The viewfinder is a nifty top-down Fresnel lens that's much more entertaining than a boring old digicam display.

Colorsplash: Imagine a camera that lets you dial-in colored filters to cover the flash. Then imagine that this camera has two clever shutter modes for in-camera effects.

Oktomat: The Oktomat is the photographic equivalent of an octopus, except that it's not a sea creature and isn't waterproof. It features eight lenses that capture a series of images on a single 35mm film frame.

Polaroid Impulse: The Polaroid Impulse was introduced in 1988, which makes it old enough to drink in most civilized countries. Thanks to a top secret accident involving a time capsule and a few cases of vegetable shortening, Lomography has unearthed a few hundred "pristine, brand new" deadstock units.