Magic Fingers Vibrating Bed

Since it's that road-trip time of year, my thoughts drift back to the 1970's when my own family piled into the Skylark and navigated the roads of the American Midwest.  Since that would have obviously been  pre-internet, the only way to comparison shop the hotels was to read their neon signs as you whizzed by.  Signs proclaimed "heated pool", "color TV" - my favorite sign had some words that ran together to read "air conditioned switchboard".  But what about those signs that also included the mystically named "magic fingers"?

In 1958, John Houghtaling invented Magic Fingers, a device mounted onto a hotel bed that would shake the mattress under you for 15 minutes, promising escape from the work-a-day non-vibrating bed world.  Let me describe the experience to you.  First you drop 25 cents into the coin box at the head of the bed.  There is a buzz from deep within the mattress, and very quickly the fine lines printed on the bedspread go into soft focus.  Panicked, you wonder whether it's scientifically possible to rattle the eyes out of your head.  Eventually you are able to let go and enjoy the body massage by imagining that you are sleeping on a giant purring cat. 

You're able to forget for a while that you're in a cheap motel, that the vibrating bed has probably been used less for its therapeutic advantages, and more as a giant kinky toy.  That's right, forget it all, let go... and right when you've drifted off into a quarter-fueled zen state, your time is up and the bed grinds to a halt.  You rack your brain trying to remember where you may have stashed some more change, and the cycle begins again.

The company is still around, at least in name - perhaps they are another zombie brand?  There's precious little information at their website, only the offer of the home game version of Magic Fingers.  In a way, it seems like Magic Fingers would work better at home anyway - you could have longer and more regular massage sessions to work away stress and help you to get to sleep.  Just keep a tin cup near the bed so you can drop in a quarter and hear the "clink" that let's you know the fun is about to start.

Magic Fingers official website (you've just GOTTA tell us if you buy one, or put one on your wedding registry...)

Comments

[nightdriver]

"You simply slide the nylon straps around the box springs and mattress of your bed, attach the motor, and push the “on” switch. You can download the detailed instructions by clicking here."

Step 1: Slide the nylon straps around the box springs and mattress of your bed, attach the motor, and push the “on” switch.

This is all too complicated. I'll never get it! If only NY had more earthquakes- I wouldn't NEED the magic fingers. But, I do. I do.

[E]

As a child of the 80s/90s I don't remember the magic fingers firsthand, but I do recall it from the Mac game "The Day of the Tentacle" - there's a segment when the characters go back into time and into a cheap hotel. You had to look for quarters from the drink machine, slot it into the magic fingers machine, and wait for the machine to vibrate a character off the bed. Funny thing is, he never woke up even when he hit the floor...

The same hotel also had the painting of the dogs playing poker. Whatta great game.

[fireball87]

These things always confounded me (and kindof creeped me out)... why would a somewhat loud motor bouncing your bed around make you sleep better. Maybe you just sleep better when your not sleeping on a pile of pocket change, but I personally sleep better with all the money i can get.

[bohus]

This is now my official favorite post from Fireball87. I officially owe you one beer. ;)

[pcvcolin]

Once when I was a very young kid our family went on a trip somewhere. At some point we stopped in the middle of the desert, maybe somewhere in the vicinity of the California / Nevada border, to spend the night. It was a typical roach hotel, the only thing in sight for as far as the eye could see across a flat desert. Our room was filthy and the TV was torn out of the wall, gone, with some cables left dangling for us to contemplate. I remember sitting on one of the beds and noticing the Magic Fingers thing and begging Dad to give me a quarter. Finally he relented. I popped in the quarter and the whole bed vibrated like mad. I was almost thrown from the bed. Whenever I tried to talk while attempting to remain seated on a bed that had suddenly become a "Bedtime Bronco," it sounded like someone was whacking me in the back repetetively with both their hands. We couldn't stop laughing until the timer ran out on the Magic Fingers. A cockroach, then two, crawled across the wall. I believe they were laughing too.

[Kali]

I actually have the recliner version of the vibrating bed. It's a pink vinyl 1950's recliner that vibrates and has heat. The feet of the chair have springs on them to absorb the shake. It's wild. You can adjust the level of vibration from a low shake to shaking the neighbors house. It's a Healthmore 500 made by the wizard manufacturing company (which appears to no longer be in business).

[Michael Bloom]

Wizard Mfg. Co. used to be based in North Hollywood, CA (on the "Model 500" ID plate on the back of the chair)... I hope Kali's pink Model 500 is holding up better than my white one!
(P.S.: If anyone knows how to service one of these, I don't mind being contacted at dracnoor@yahoo.com)