The Amazingly Uncool Nerd Watch Museum
By James Grahame
Modern Nerds are nothing like the pathetic pale creatures of decades past. Duct-taped glasses have given way to laser corrective surgery and invisible braces have replaced barbaric steel mouth traps. Even the pocket protector has vanished, thanks to an omnipresent assortment of backpacks and messenger bags. Worst of all, mobile phones have supplanted wristwatch calculators. Yeah, that's right. Now even the cool kids can calculate square roots whenever they wish. Physics class will never be the same.
That's why we're going out of our way to draw your attention to the Nerd Watch Museum. It's filled with dozens of brilliant wrist-mounted calculators, computers, lottery number generators, translators and game watches. Long live technological insanity!