The Talking Datsun
By James Grahame
Jared Chesson writes, "Every so often, I have a weird obsession with saying 'your door is ajar' in a pleasant and informative feminine voice, which generally makes my wife nervous. It all stems from an infatuation with my father's 5-speed Datsun. As a four year old boy, I was convinced there was a small woman, possibly employed under the same union as Santa's elves, whose sole purpose and reason for living was to inform the passengers of said car that a door could possibly be, in fact, open.
I was heartbroken when they traded the car in for a more family friendly station wagon. She may have been my first love. (Thank goodness Hal 9000 wasn't a Sal). 27 years later, I find out there was no elfish woman speaking to me. It was a small record playing on a portable phonograph.
The only tech coming close to replicating this experience for me was my Garmin. But her voice wasn't compassionate, or reasonable. The Garmin barked orders instead of suggesting. There's a difference, in other words, of saying 'Your door is ajar' vs. 'Take a right.' "