Retro Thing

Crafters Love The U.S.A. One Stitch At A Time

As night falls this July 4th, lots of Americans will hit the streets to set off all manner of fireworks and (unfortunately) illegal ordnance. Calamitous events of recent years have renewed patriotic ostentation - especially the kitschy kind. We've featured many classic examples of such - we still get email about the Marx Plastic Presidents from my earliest days at Retro Thing. It's easy to see that this country has a long rich history of political & social innovation... commemorated by tacky crap.

My mother is a witty little knitter. I mean it, she's a machine at the artful tangling of yarn and thread and turning out breathtaking artisan work. That's why I've never understood plastic canvas cross-stitch. A staple of the roadside craft fair scene, these plastic canvas productions always seemed like a project for juveniles or the recuperative set on their way to more advanced crafting. Clearly this is a far more popular hobby than I thought as thrift stores are piled high with this stuff. Mostly you find these opuses in the form of decorative wall hangings, but occasionally these projects take advantage of the plastic canvas' stiff structure to build 3D functional objects... like a patriotic tissue box cozy for example.

For a country that is very sensitive about display of the flag, and what is and isn't appropriate behavior around Old Glory, we're sure content to put our flag on darn near any piece of junk. I don't begrudge anyone for expressing their patriotism through their craft, but it seems odd to think that the drippy-nosed among us will feel our souls stir every time we reach for a tissue.

"Ah-choo!"
"Bless you."
"God Bless America, too..."

related:
Puzzle version of the U.S. by Hasbro
Presidents immortalized as aftershave
Cross-stitch your own heirloom clock

ACME Whistles

My 7-year-old would love an ACME whistle. However, it would only be a matter of minutes before one of his loving parents discovered him terrorizing the hamster with shrill 100 dB blasts.

Evil Parent would then accidentally flatten the bloody thing under the nearest passing bus. The disarmed kid would count to ten before wailing inconsolably (with a mischievous glint in his eye) until we promised to buy an even louder model.

Luckily, most of ACME's wares are dirt cheap. For example, the famous Metropolitan Police Whistle weighs in at a quite reasonable £8.55.

If you're eager to spend more, the Thunderer Titanic - finished in sterling silver - could be yours for £82.71. It's billed as the "Authentic whistle as used on the famous ocean liner." The site includes dozens of piercing audio samples in mp3 format for hours of torture listening pleasure.

The Official ACME Whistle Site [via Dominic Ali]

Sony Walkman Turns 30, Feels A Bit Overweight

The original Walkman was released on July 1, 1979. But let's get couple of things straight: Sony didn't come up with the idea, and its success was due to revolutionary lightweight headphones, not the lowly Philips Compact Cassette.

I labored for years under the mistaken belief that Sony invented the portable personal stereo, culminating in the release of the Walkman in mid-1979 (it sold only 3,000 units in the first month). It turns out I was wrong. The real credit for such devices goes to Brazilian intellectual Andreas Pavel, who created the first portable personal stereo players in the late 1960s.

He was unable to get people to see the magic of the device -- no great surprise, given the massive earmuff headphones that were the state-of-the-art in the sixties and seventies. He recounts that, while he lived in Milan in 1976, "people would look at me sometimes on a bus, and you could see they were asking themselves, 'Why is this crazy man running around with headphones?"'

Pavel filed patents in five countries, and Sony agreed to license his technology in 1986 -- although they refused to acknowledge him as the technology's inventor. He fought long and hard, and it wasn't until 2003 that he reached an agreement with Sony that saw him credited for his idea, along with a sizable cash settlement rumored to be over $10 million. To his credit, he never let his legal battle consume him or define his life, even when faced with financial ruin.

While many people assume that the Compact Cassette tape was the secret behind the Walkman's runaway success, it would have been a dismal flop without the introduction of featherweight headphones with samarium-cobalt magnets.

The original headphones weighed a mere 45 grams. Prior to that, hi-fi headphones were bulky, heavy devices ill suited to jogging or riding the train. Their arrival was a critical and frequently overlooked part of the Walkman's immense success throughout the early 1980s, especially when you realize that the Compact Cassette had been on the market for 15 years before the Walkman set sales on fire.

Walkman 20th Anniversary Press Release from 1999 (oh, how far we've come...)
Giving up my iPod for a Walkman  [thanks, Gio and Retroandy!]

Visit The Retro Thing Forums And Win My Book

Have you visited the RT forums lately? They're the place to discuss vintage gadgets, sell or trade your retro gear and get to know retronauts from around the world. Register and join the conversation -- we look forward to meeting you. 

As added incentive, one lucky forum member will be chosen at random on Saturday July 4th to receive a signed copy of my Essential Retro book.

PS - If you're a graphic designer and would like to design a button/banner/graphic for the main site that will make the forums stand out, please drop us a note.

Visit The Retro Thing Forums

The Lego Arcade

This is absolutely brilliant - a handful of classic arcade games animated in Lego. I'm particularly fond of the B & W Asteroids rendition at 2:05. Come to think of it, someone should create playable versions for the iPhone.

Lego Arcade [via BB offworld]

Dungeons & Dragons 1980's Commercial

p>Here's an old ad for the "Dungeons & Dragons" game. I've never played the game, despite others attempts to pull me in. If a game has more than two six sided dice (I'll make an exception for Yahtzee), it makes my head spin. Besides, when I heard about the game it was clouded in the controversey of whether the game promoted satanism or not. I always doubted it, though after seeing the squeaky clean folks (where are the sulky black t-shirted teens?) in this ad that's just a bit too into the game, I can believe that they are indwelt by demons. There are a few mentions of the games unbridled nature, which sounds cool - though they leave out the part about campaigns and battles being a lengthy commitment, to say nothing of all the paperwork associated with D and D.

The voice you hear is that of Ken Nordine, a famous voiceover artist. He's also famous for his 1950's Word Jazz albums and radio show that still runs today. Here he is using his famous "call and response" style of delivery. It is not to leave you with the feeling that playing D and D will put multiple voices into your head.

related:

Polarity: 1980's game that uses magnets
Giant retro Scrabble set
Day-Glo version of chess

Farewell To Michael Jackson: Patent Holder & More

  

It's with a heavy heart that I heard about the death of Michael Jackson. When the historic Thriller album dropped, I was in Junior High School (or “Middle School” as people seem to insist on saying these days), and very far removed from pop culture. Nevertheless I had a sneaky admiration for the pre crotch-clutching Jackson, and in later years I grew to admire much of his work. The journalistic world is scrambling to pay tribute to the fallen enigma that is the king of pop. We'll leave the inevitable rumor mongering to others, but I felt like sharing a couple of MJ secrets that the rest of the world may miss.

I thought that pretty much everyone had seen the YouTube video of the prison in the Phillipines that uses dance as their daily exercise, but many friends I asked hadn't. The choreographed moves from the history making Thriller music video are performed here by a staggering 1500 prisoners. This isn't some talent night quality performance either, these guys are really good. Thriller's impact on worldwide culture is so great, that's it's helping reform prisoners. I knew that it took discipline to get good at these signature MJ moves, but who knew how much better you'd get under lock and key?

Michael dominated many forms of media, but who knew that he also holds a patent? One of the iconic moves from his "Smooth Criminal" music video is when all the dancers lean forward at an impossible angle. In the video this was acheived with wires. Jackson's innovation was the development of special shoes along with a support system hidden under the stage enabilng the move in a live show. Very clever. It makes me wonder what secrets he might have had that he didn't want to share with the U.S. Patent Office?

Finally, we could talk about the 80's pop culture products that rained down on a Thriller buying public. There were a couple different styles of 12” doll, clothes, buttons, a single sequined kid-sized glove... but one of his more infamous products is from the 90's. The Sega Genesis is host to “Moonwalker”, a video game that puts the player in the long-form music video of Smooth Criminal.

It took me years to find this game at the thrift store, and after playing it I found it was a pretty typical 90's platformer. The Genesis soundchip is put to the test with a constant loop of Jackson's music, possibly the coolest part of the game. There is also an easter egg where Michael will turn into a flying robot (oh, and Bubbles the chimp shows up too). The way I sum it up is that it's a game where you play Michael Jackson going through a lonely dark house, searching for hidden children. Once uncovered, you touch the child, he yelps “Michael!”, and then runs away off-screen. Less said...

Links:

Read the actual patent describing the Smooth Criminal shoes
Video review of Genesis Moonwalker game

Knight Rider Toy With A Lesson For TV Producers

In the early 80's, freewheeling Matchbox cars and Hot Wheels just weren't enough. Imagine one of your toy cars rolling down a tabletop – what happens when it hits a loose pile of pencils? So toymaker Schaper introduced a line of battery powered cars with real 4 wheel drive to trundle over such obstacles. They were terribly popular among the fifth grade set as I recall, so it was inevitable that competition would crowd the showroom at your local toy store.

LJN entered the AA powered 4x4 fray with their “Rough Riders” line based on popular TV vehicles. Besides a whole fleet of A-Team rigs, there was this model of K.I.T.T. The ol' Knight Industries 2000 might have been a historical curiosity, but this nation's appetite for 80's kitsch, and the drive to create needless sequels have kept the talking Trans Am alive in our hearts even today.

You may recall that NBC recently brought Knight Rider back in an expensive TV movie that introduced a new (destined to be short-lived) series about a boy and his frequently computer generated car. The pilot film was okay-ish, but the series was mysteriously abominable. How do you mess up the Talking Jumping Car Show? Perhaps NBC could have taken a few cues from this toy version of K.I.T.T.

Both have the crucial red “computer” light on the front. The large gear shift sticking out the top of the toy switches the toy between speedy 2 wheel drive, and rough & ready 4 wheelin'. In the TV world, that could have translated neatly into episodes alternating between breakneck chases and cheap off-road stunts. Now there's the premise for a show!

In my little impromptu head to head, the toy wins as much less a waste of time. It does not venture into emotional territory it clearly can't convey, does not try to resolve ridiculous issues in 43 minutes, and it's perfectly okay if while driving around it looks like it's made out of cheap plastic.

Let's not waste any more time on that awful franchise reboot. Clearly the toy is the more successful. I'll wrap up by pointing out that you can put the model car into freewheeling mode so that your other toy cars don't feel so bad. Another cool feature of the LJN toy version is the conical hub caps. These let K.I.T.T. do some side wheelie action just like in the old show. Just don't let any enthusiastic car customizers see this feature, otherwise they'll bolt 'em on to every real-life 80's classic car to come through the shop.

Related:

Anniversary of the 4x4 that helped start it all
Our report on the return of Knight Rider
Hot Wheels manufacturing errors

RetroBytes: Soviet Arcade Games, Wooden Music Players And More

A few random things that caught my attention today...

Open Emu - An open source video game emulation system for the Mac that lets you play six games at once, dramatically increasing your productivity. Just don't apply the same technique to romance.

Twitterized Typewriter - The lowly intern at oomlout gets to feed endless reams of A4 paper into their snazzy new Twitter typewriter. She secretly wishes she'd trained to become a hairstylist instead.

Fifteen Kopeks of fun - The Museum of Soviet Arcade Machines now has a stunningly beautiful website, so it's time to pretend you speak Russian while admiring the pretty pictures.

Wooden iPod - Josh created a decidedly steampunk wood and brass case for his aging iPod Nano. Then he posted it on flickr to humiliate those of us who think that crafting dinky little Lego spaceships is an earth-shattering achievement. 

Moon Bomb - NASA plans to blast a 5 mile wide crater into the surface of the moon. What could possibly go wrong?

Bare Bones Pekoscope 16mm Projector From 1932

This diminutive Pekoscope 16mm projector was made right in Chicago back in 1932, back when we knew how to make more than just backroom deals about the city's parking meters. It's such a simple system, there's good potential that it still works, though I'm terrified to try. Why? Lots of exposed moving parts, and a pair of cloth covered power cords to juice the lamp and external motor.

 I couldn't find much about the Pekoscope on the internet besides the likely date of manufacture. From looking at it, I think that you could have bought it unmotorized. A crank with some sort of flywheel action moves the sole sprocketed roller. It also moves a grooved wheel in the back that's attached by a spring-belt to the take up reel. Another belt attached to the top reel for rewinding in some way I haven't exactly quite worked out yet.

After you've put on enough backyard kiddie shows, perhaps you'd have enough cash to get the external motor. Looking like a mini dynamo, this bolts onto the base driving the various external belts. The arms for the reels also are removable. Perhaps this was for easier storage or upgrade to the playback of larger reels (imagine cranking through 200 feet of film by hand going too slowly and letting it burn!).

 All in all this is one of the simplest projectors I've ever come across, making me wonder if it was intended as a kiddie unit. It's well built, and would have been an expensive item even if made for children, but the simplified construction as well as the hand cranking makes me wonder. With so many children's favorites available as cut down 50 foot shorts in toy & hobby stores back then, I wouldn't be surprised. Whomever it was intended for, the projector has the potential to be a real film scratching monster – there's not a very good load path for the film. Let's hope that the 50 foot reel that came threaded on this particular Pekoscope doesn't have missing footage from Metropolis on it... 

related:

Muplet cheapo projector that I still hope to find one day
Gakken projector kit is even more basic than the Pekoscope
Montgomery Ward's surprisingly simple projector in a surprising color