Retro Thing

Koko The Clown Destroyed The World 85 Years Before "2012"

It's funny to see critics recoil in disappointment at "2012", the latest installment in the disaster film genre. While these flicks are often fun, they are less often any good. I like to have fun at the movies with explosions and karate and all of that, but overindulgent effects-driven movies leave me with a hunger that not even a $20 bag of cinema popcorn can sate. Besides, I find today's hyper-realistic images of destruction far more disturbing than entertaining. I'd prefer that someone bring back the cardboard carnage of Gamera movies...

The story that took the producers of "2012" kerjillions of dollars and more than two hours to realize was done better by the Fleischer brothers in a five minute cartoon in 1928. One of my favorite eras in animation is the late silent/early sound period, and back then the Fleischers were among the best. Few could match the draftsmanship and the daftness of their cartoons. After nearly a century, these cartoons still have boundless snap, pace, and energy. The thickly nibbed line of the characters preserved the look of the animation through countless reproductions of these film elements. Even an image quality robbing trip through the patented YouTube Image Grinder can't keep this pair down.

  
Koko the Clown and his dog Fitz circumnavigate the globe to find the control center for all the earth. A mischevious Fitz can't leave well enough alone, even betraying animated "reality" to bring about a Fleischer fuelled cataclysm. The last minute has some great real-world animation that folks would refer to as "Gilliam-esque" just a few decades too early. If you've never seen Koko, this animated end of days is one of his best silents. Who said that psychedelic insanity needs to be in color?

related:
ACME Corporation online catalog
Bill Jackson's brilliant "Cartoon Town"

Lather, Rinse Off Radioactive Material, Repeat...

Here's a freebie bit of retro consulting for all you modern media moguls. Are you tired of the fallout from the many makeup removal commercials that are just like yours? Electrify your audience with a dazzling day-glo demo of your product by including some low level radiation. That's right, when Dorothy Gray Cosmetics promises to make your face glow, they deliver like the Enola Gay. Here's a 1950's TV commercial that shows just how atomic the atomic age was.

related:

Ad for the unfortunately named game "Ball Busters"
Scary low budget commercial for children's clothing store
Breakfast with Nintendo spot; it's not a "cereal", it's a "system"

Qonto: 1970's Japanese Robot Birthday Mystery

Post Star Wars, the world went robot crazy. It seemed as if any kind of toy robot had a better chance than ever of being successful. Lots of robots were modeled after stubby & feisty R2-D2, a cute friendly droid that any kid could imagine as his best friend. If the official Star Wars robot toys weren't enough, there were plenty of other robot ranks to explore on toy shop shelves.

As a boy, I once got a funny little robot for my birthday. It wasn't a character from any comic book or cartoon that I knew of, and yet there was a rather complete toy line at my local Toys R Us. All I knew is that the name on the package was "Qonto", and at under 2" he was small enough to be R2-D2's pesky little brother. When childhood's playtime was over, this little robot stood sentry on my shelf for years as I always had a sneaky liking for the little guy. I remembered his name, but not the unusual spelling. This year as my birthday approached, I racked my memory banks and finally got the robot mystery all figured out.

It appears that Qonto was a character on a Japanese TV show that never made it stateside called San Ku Kai (which I'd really like to see...). In the intro sequence you can see the live-action prop robot that this toy is based on (at around the 45 second mark). Bandai manufactured die-cast figures of the robot, and sold them here in the US as "Bandai Investment Die Cast Collection" for some imagined high-end robot collector market back then. I only ever got the little figure (which was available in a variety of colors) since he was 97 cents, but last week for my birthday I was able to buy the old saucer toy in its box, and am happy to report that it's even better than I remembered.

The "Space Saucer" has that classic UFO shape with Qonto as its pilot. The center section hinges out, with a cleverly weighted rotating interior. Qonto stays upright no matter what angle the ship is - and you all know that when you mess up a robot's equilibrium, they get madder than a wet hen. The spaceship also boasts spring-loaded landing pads with wheels, secret hatches, and a front mounted gun that was undoubtedly originally meant to shoot little missiles (shooting toys were neutered in the late 70's after a child choked to death on a plastic missile). Overall Qonto's spaceship has a much nicer construction & finish than a typical child's toy of the time.

The packaging is interesting as it portrays the toy to be both a collectible for adults, while at the same time it's safe and fun for children. The original price sticker is for $7.95, so it wasn't priced out of range of other toys of the time. There is no mention of the original TV series or backstory on the box either, we kids were on our own (do toys always have to have a storyline built in?). I wonder what the marketing tack was for Qonto? If the toy store is out of R2-D2 figures, perhaps mom will pick up an equally cute little Japanese robo? Perhaps the only way to compete with the Star Wars toy juggernaut was to position this as something a bit better? The cutesy flying saucer was suddenly out of step with the gritty realism that Star Wars showed us, so perhaps it was wise to market this to adults.

All that matters to me is that the saucer was a good enough toy for me to remember it for at least 30 years, and when I found another one and it came in the mail recently I really did feel like a kid again opening the box. To answer your next question, yes... I was making jet noises and ray gun sound effects the whole time. When it's your birthday you get to make the rules, and if you're good you can come over for cake and I'll let you play with my new spaceship.

links:
san ku kaï (french dub)

related:
DVD wishlist: Johnny Sokko And His Flying Robot
HE-RObot: The next generation of Heathkit HERO robots
The end of a landmark Greenwich Village toy shop

CBS Not Celebrating 50 Years In The Twilight Zone

 
I just finished watching "The Invaders", a classic episode of "The Twilight Zone". Here in Chicago, we're lucky to have MeTV, a free channel devoted to classic retro television, but even in towns without such good fortune, The Twilight Zone still resonates as one of the all-time classics of television. Is it Rod Serling's perfectly crafted introductions? The intelligent writing? The wry twist "punchline" at each episode's end? Cold War Era themes that are still sober commentary on the human condition? Yes on all counts.

October 2nd marks the 50th anniversary of the first broadcast of The Twilight Zone on the CBS television network. In real life we had not yet hurtled into space, television was barely a decade old, and what passed for science fiction in those days was mostly warmed-over cowboy picture plots wrapped in tin foil suits. TZ brought us sophisticated ideas and political commentary tucked into the allegorical trappings of science fiction. Though one of the strengths of the show was that it wasn't always about spaceships and spooky houses. Themes as varied as growing old, bucolic nostalgia, and lots and lots of tales of comeuppance.

The series has returned several times in the decades since it's monochromatic birth. 1983 saw five original stories and a fresh one brought to the silver screen in a big-budget movie remake. A few years later, CBS brought the series back as a week hour-long anthology series (and I adored it). Flash forward to 2002, and the series returned as a justifiably short-lived series on the equally short lived United Paramount Network. Of course countless other anthology series have borrowed the TZ formula to varying degrees of success.

So when a television series is such an icon that a vocal imitation of its theme song (dee, dee, dee, doo) is a universal sign that something strange is going on. A TV series that is still leaving its mark five decades after first broadcast deserves celebrating, right? Wrong. CBS did nothing to mark Twilight Zone's anniversary. Asking Friday night shows to have a TZ theme would be such a gift to television writers, that it almost seems inconceivable that CBS did nothing to commemorate being part of a TV classic (Then again, two weeks ago CBS pulled soap opera The Guiding Light off the air after an astonishing 72 years on TV and radio).

The TV industry in the US is, after all, a business. I guess there's no money in celebrating a unique and enduring television icon unless you're on cable or MeTV. Other countries seem capable of being proud of their television traditions. Shame on you, CBS.

Oh, and while I'm complaining, someone bring back anthology TV, okay?

related:
Twilight Zone dramatized as radio plays

links:
Stream the first episode on CBS.com
The complete series on DVD
My favorite book about the series

Retro Outrage: "Wizard Of Oz" 70th Anniversary Screening Only Half As Good As It Could Be

Next week, the timeless Technicolor classic "The Wizard Of Oz" comes to high definition Blu-Ray. Promoters are celebrating the event with a special screening in movie theaters September 23rd. Posters and a breathless trailer say that you'll be seeing the movie like never before, and heavily imply that this fresh release of the movie will look better than ever.

They rely on the typical consumer not realizing that movie theaters will show the film via digital projection, not celluloid film. High definition projection is only about half the quality of any film print moviegoers have seen in the last seven decades. Projected video can't deliver the breathtaking color of a real Technicolor print.

I can accept a lot of things when sprucing up a movie for re-release. By all means restore and repair the visuals from the film. Upgrade the special effects as long as they remain in the spirit of the source material (the way that the remastered Star Trek TV series does, and George Lucas doesn't...). I'll even accept creating stereo soundtracks where only mono existed before (so long as I can go back to mono on the DVD back home). But don't claim that all of this is somehow superior to the original when you're delivering it to my eyes in a format much inferior to the original film.

It's a thrill to bring back the film to the cinema, and I have no doubt that it would be fun to see the movie in a theater with an enthusiastic crowd. I don't have a ticket, so I won't get to relive the thrills - like the moment when the sepia tones of Kansas give way to the jubilant Technicolor excess of the land of Oz, but maybe I'm better off. All I'd be thinking is that the presentation is at best half of what it would be if it were projected from a newly struck Technicolor film print. At home Blu Ray is going to be great, but in a movie theater I expect a bit more.

There's no excuse for marketers to pretend that this version of the film is going to somehow be the best presentation ever when they are delivering inferior digital projection of a compressed video stream. All we can do is click our heels together three times and say "there's no film like film..."

related: We uncover some lesser known facts about Oz

links:
The restored 70th Anniversary Blu-Ray "Oz" is at Amazon
"The Making of The Wizard Of Oz" book
The silent movie era versions of Oz

"Joe 90" - Gerry Anderson Series That Gets Inside Your Brain

I've had a lifelong love/befuddled relationship with the TV shows of Gerry Anderson. In the 60's he produced a string (heh) of wildly successful marionette adventure shows in the UK. His best known is undoubtedly Thunderbirds, but close behind would have to be Captain Scarlet and Stingray. The unearthliness of the puppet characters combined with some of the best miniatures work of the time has always struck an odd balance, but nothing is as odd as the storylines. My friend Sam put it best when he said that it's as if two eight year old boys had written these TV shows starring the best toys in the world.

I just finished watching one of the lesser known series; Joe 90. This is Anderson's next-to-last puppet series of the 60's featuring characters with more realistic proportions than prior productions (puppets from Thunderbirds and before had disproportionately large heads to fit the large solenoid driven mouth mechanism). Everything about the visuals is top-notch, and the puppets do achieve some amazing moves. The characters are oddly static though as these new realistic figures were partially operated from below, rooting their feet to the ground. The characters are practically never seen walking, a fact that is very difficult to try to obscure through the shooting style.

The supreme oddity is the central premise of the series. Joe 90 is a nine year old boy who's adoptive father has a lab secreted below his cozy country cottage in the English countryside. The lab is home to BIG RAT (Brain Impulse Galvanoscope Record And Transfer) which lets the pair record the brain patterns of pilots, demolition experts, what have you... later transferring them into the brain of the 9 year old boy. Do I even need to add that Joe is an international secret agent?

When Joe puts on his special glasses, the electrodes within activate the brain pattern latent in his mind and he becomes an expert in whatever field the adventure requires. He's been down a collapsed mine, diffused a bomb, flown a fighter jet, and even performed brain surgery in his bespectacled guise. He also has the habit of calling his dad by his first name when in "adult" mode. Dad is curiously nonchalant about putting his boy in harm's way. He'll occasionally raise an objection, but then acquiesce, "with those glasses on, you're the expert, son..."

It may sound as if I'm criticizing the show, but I'm actually not. While intended for children (and I guess as a kid it would have been fun to see a boy in total authority of a situation, while also killing slavic accented bad guys with his agency-issued pistol), I think that this show is really more for adults these days. It's just so wrongheaded that I find it a guilty pleasure on many fronts. The best thing is that you can find the official DVD release of the whole series for under twenty dollars on Ebay. Anderson's eye-popping model work along with mind-popping storylines have a way of imprinting themselves into your brain... even without a BIG RAT to do it for you.

Pick up the entire Joe 90 series on Ebay
BIG RAT - a Joe 90 fan site

related:
Johnny Sokko's Giant Robot cult series
Thunderbirds cigar bands from 1968
Forgotten puppet show from Astro Boy's creator

"The Wizard Of Oz" Film Marks 70th Anniversary

August 25th marks the 70th anniversary of the release of one of the most beloved films in cinema history. Film historians reckon that "The Wizard Of Oz" might be the most viewed films of all time. As with other cherished things, behind the scenes stories have become almost legendary - whether they were true or not. Here are a few that you may not have known...

The transition between the sepia toned Kansas scenes and the technicolor brilliance of Oz is an inspired way to bring audience into the dazzling world of color, but Oz is not the first color movie in film history. There had been about a half dozen other color films beforehand (not counting the many partial color and tinted films of the silent era), and of course the full color "Gone With The Wind" premiered a few months later, so industrywide color production was well on its way. Manufacturers and hopeful inventors were experimenting with a color film process almost since the invention of motion pictures.

This was not the first film made of Oz. The author of the dozen plus Oz books, L. Frank Baum, created the Oz Film Manufacturing Company expressly to create gentler cinematic fare aimed at children than the violent cowboy films of the day. The company made three silent films of Dorothy's adventures that are only tangentially related to the books. Baum also toured what we would today call a multimedia show of Oz with film clips and live actors on a stage. No roadshow footage survives, but the other Oz works are available on DVD.

DVD Giveaway: Bill Jackson's "Cartoon Town" Documentary

Among the many fortunes of living in Chicago are that we had a very healthy slate of locally produced TV shows long after many other markets gave up. The torch is still carried by a local channel or two, but children's programming is sadly long gone. Certainly there are new cartoons, but gone are the golden-age animations and the local TV hosts who built whole shows around these classic syndication packages.

I've been reading a great book about the hosts of local children's TV across the US. Many smaller markets simply had an on-screen costumed host to introduce cartoons, though some were more ambitious with in-studio audiences, prizes, and puppets. In Chicago we were fortunate to have so many driven talents to push beyond simply introducing cartoons. We're known nationwide for our version of Bozo (immortalized forever in the voice of Krusty the Clown), and for the work of another man - Bill Jackson.

Though you may not have ever heard of B.J. outside of Chicago, you'd know within minutes of watching one of his programs that you are looking at the Citizen Kane of local TV puppet shows. Over his many years in Chicago, he built an astonishing ensemble cast of puppets. Puppets with real personality, fantastic voices, and a singular design. Rather than taking on the usual fuzzy Muppets look, B.J.'s puppets are unique in that they're latex rubber. His shows feature deliberately two dimensional backgrounds and buildings (a budget saving move that turned out to be a definite visual asset). Put them together with B.J. as the only human in sight, and the shows look like cartoons that have come to life.

"Let's Make A Deal" Returns to CBS-Television

One of the quintisential loud 70's games shows "Let's Make a Deal" is coming back to the airwaves - the first daytime game show to premiere on network TV in a decade and a half. The original program was a loud and fun party, and the old host has a probability problem named after him. I've always loved game shows.  They are one of the perfect forms of television (the most perfect is the commercial...). Game shows are little more than a vehicle for a parade of commercial sponsors, wrapped in cheap stunts - and lots of 'em. It's when a game show can rise above that that it can become a classic.

In the shadow of "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire", there was a mini boom of game shows that all took on the quasi-serious look and feel of Millionaire, itself a show that could make a dozen trivia questions somehow take up an hour of prime time. Even asinine shows like "Deal or No Deal" (which my friend Jason has correctly renamed, "Howie Mandell's Breifcase Challenge") try to pass themselves off as a life-changing event rather than a show that's aimed at people who don't understand math. So I really hope that "Let's Make a Deal" understands and stays true to its roots as a raucus and fun time for all.

Comedian Wayne Brady will host, with original host Monty Hall acting as consultant. Interesting is that the revamp of "The Price Is Right" under the aegis of new host Drew Carey (and past collaborator with Brady) also hits the air this autumn. The new TPIR also promises more fun and prizes - possibly fewer frat guys winning grandfather clocks and the like?

 It'll be interesting to see if the resucitation of "Let's Make A Deal" and the reboot of "The Price Is Right" will resonate with today's audience. When I think of classic game shows, I think of Groucho Marx's "You Bet Your Life" and "Match Game" which were about more than just cash prizes. It was clear that everyone in the studio was having a really good time. Both Brady and Carey have big shoes to fill to keep their shows loose and fun, but I think they can do it. Are there more game shows to come?  Might we find the next Groucho Marx or Charles Nelson Reilly among them?

To celebrate the life and work of Mr. Reilly, here's a new music video done by the JibJab guys all about Reilly's life as seen by Weird Al. Finally.

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

Did Jerry Lewis Invent And Patent Video Assist?

Yes, THAT Jerry Lewis, A friend of mine characterized the two phases of Lewis; the “schlemeil” and the “genius”. This would fall into the “genius” camp. A lot of film fans don't realize that Jerry was equally adept behind the camera as in front of it. For his films of the late 50's, he wanted to effectively direct himself in the picture but was held back by the 24 hours it took to develop the day's film (or “rushes”).

It's hard to be spontaneous a day later, so in 1960 he patented a system of mounting a video camera alongside the film camera, both sharing the same view. The video camera would record the same image the film camera saw, and Jerry could instantly play back the scene right there on the set from videotape. Today we call this “video assist”, and it has been an absolute requirement for filmmakers for decades. He's been lauded for this crucial contribution at film industry functions for years, but it appears after all these years that the story isn't exactly true.

Star Wars: Behind The Scenes Home Movies

David Berry shot some historic Super 8 footage while working on Star Wars at Industrial Light and Magic. The film offers a casual glimpse into the hands-on world of the cinematographers, model makers and artists who brought Star Wars to life in a Van Nuys industrial park during the late 1970s.

Dave Berry's Star Wars Home Movies [via OhGizmo!]

Educational Film Causes More Problems Than It Solves

A friend and I were having an interesting chat about educational movies. VHS and DVD players in every classroom obsoleted the ritualistic wheeling in of the 16mm projector, the baffling threading of the film, and the hopelessly outdated movie unspooling before students who only cared about getting out of classwork. The largest boom in producing these films was in the 50's and 60's; the start of the push-button age. Taking inspiration from WWII training films, educators felt that multimedia could offer an essentially push-button solution to any problem, be it technical or emotional.

This is only a short clip from such a film (I don't know if I could stand the whole movie). While the underlying message is surprisingly progressive for the time, the actual application is clinical and just damned odd. If you think that your mother manages to make the occasional inopportune slip-up, just imagine if your mom chose her words and her chattier moments like Madam Emotionally-Barren here...

related:

Wrongheaded educational video warns: Don't Copy That Floppy
Educational puppets for the classroom
2-XL educational robot runs on 8 track tapes

Knight Rider Toy With A Lesson For TV Producers

In the early 80's, freewheeling Matchbox cars and Hot Wheels just weren't enough. Imagine one of your toy cars rolling down a tabletop – what happens when it hits a loose pile of pencils? So toymaker Schaper introduced a line of battery powered cars with real 4 wheel drive to trundle over such obstacles. They were terribly popular among the fifth grade set as I recall, so it was inevitable that competition would crowd the showroom at your local toy store.

LJN entered the AA powered 4x4 fray with their “Rough Riders” line based on popular TV vehicles. Besides a whole fleet of A-Team rigs, there was this model of K.I.T.T. The ol' Knight Industries 2000 might have been a historical curiosity, but this nation's appetite for 80's kitsch, and the drive to create needless sequels have kept the talking Trans Am alive in our hearts even today.

You may recall that NBC recently brought Knight Rider back in an expensive TV movie that introduced a new (destined to be short-lived) series about a boy and his frequently computer generated car. The pilot film was okay-ish, but the series was mysteriously abominable. How do you mess up the Talking Jumping Car Show? Perhaps NBC could have taken a few cues from this toy version of K.I.T.T.

Both have the crucial red “computer” light on the front. The large gear shift sticking out the top of the toy switches the toy between speedy 2 wheel drive, and rough & ready 4 wheelin'. In the TV world, that could have translated neatly into episodes alternating between breakneck chases and cheap off-road stunts. Now there's the premise for a show!

In my little impromptu head to head, the toy wins as much less a waste of time. It does not venture into emotional territory it clearly can't convey, does not try to resolve ridiculous issues in 43 minutes, and it's perfectly okay if while driving around it looks like it's made out of cheap plastic.

Let's not waste any more time on that awful franchise reboot. Clearly the toy is the more successful. I'll wrap up by pointing out that you can put the model car into freewheeling mode so that your other toy cars don't feel so bad. Another cool feature of the LJN toy version is the conical hub caps. These let K.I.T.T. do some side wheelie action just like in the old show. Just don't let any enthusiastic car customizers see this feature, otherwise they'll bolt 'em on to every real-life 80's classic car to come through the shop.

Related:

Anniversary of the 4x4 that helped start it all
Our report on the return of Knight Rider
Hot Wheels manufacturing errors

Ferris Bueller's Ferrari House For Sale

Here's your chance to own a piece of cinematic history - the location where Ferris Bueller's pal Cameron accidentally sent his father's prized Ferrari plunging through a picturesque plate glass window into the ravine below.

"The Ben Rose Home - site of the famous movie "Ferris Bueller's Day Off." Cantilevered over the ravine, these two steel and glass buildings - which can never be duplicated - have incredible vistas of the surrounding woods. This is a unique property designed by A. James Speyer and David Haid, both notable architects of the 20th Century."

These magnificent examples of mid-century minimalism (that's an exterior shot of the garage on the left) can be yours for only $2,300,000, or $433.96 per square foot.

370 Beech Street, Highland Park, IL [via Cory O'Brien]
Ferris Bueller's Day Off - Ferrari Scenes [YouTube]

"Thunderbirds" Collectible Cigar Bands From 1968

Whenever someone who has never seen the Thunderbirds asks me to explain who and what they are, I say that they are bad-ass puppets who shoot guns, bleed, and smoke a lot. I also explain that while intended for children, the stringed adventures of the Thunderbirds always held a fascination for adults too. Perhaps that explains these collectible cigar bands from 1968 featuring photos of the show's characters and their magnificent flying machines.

According to accounts on cigar band collector websites, the hobby peaked in the early decades of the 20th century, before cigarettes became the smoke of choice for most people. Manufacturers continued to produce collectible cigar bands, sort of like having a bubble gum card wrapped around your favorite blunt. Still, it's just odd to have the very adult pastime of smoking promoting a children's program. Though I must admit, I love the image of a young British lad puffing a cigar while reading the latest issue of Gerry Anderson's TV21.

The Cigar Label Gazette
A complete set of Thunderbirds Cigar bands on Ebay

tangentially related:
Forgotten puppet TV show From Astro Boy's creator
Kyle's flea market mystery cigarette box
Our favorite retro TV shows and movies