Retro Thing

Collapsible Top Hat

Happy New Year!  One of the symbols of New Year's Eve is the fancy dress top hat (the collapsable kind pictured here is called an Opera Hat).  Men's formal hats have mostly disappeared, but the top hat still sticks around as a symbol of wealth or formality.  Or.. um... stage magic, but that's another story.

I always thought that it would be fun to have a high hat, but even when I worked at a tuxedo shop they were hard to find (the ones that the store stocked looked more like pilgrim's hats).  I found this rather beaten topper for a few bucks, and it's the perfect party hat for New Year's Eve.  When a top hat is a bit ragged, it goes with practically any outfit.  :)

I've since inherited a very fine top hat from a relative who was a statesman, but unless you are being inaugurated president (Nixon was the last to be sworn in morning dress and a top hat) or are Alice Cooper, you'll probably have little use for one.

While my beat up top hat and I hat are out celebrating the New Year tonight, I'll be reflecting on the 2006.  I can say sincerely that one of the best experiences for me this past year has been writing for Retro Thing.  It's nearly a year since James invited me to collaborate on this blog, and its been tremendous fun all the way.  I'm proud of our many quirky posts (a few have even been cited as sources in the Wikipedia!), and that so many of you have taken the time to write in say that you enjoy what we're doing.

Our readership has grown steadily over the last year and we hope to keep growing throughout the next year.  James and I have been planning a number of things behind-the-scenes for 2007 (more free giveaways for one thing!), so this should be a fun year for us all.  Of course the best way to help make this blog what you want it to be is to keep writing in!  We love reading comments, and it's the most direct way to let us know what you keep coming back for.

We also want to tip our hats to our sponsors throughout the last year.  Their support keeps Retro Thing alive - our thanks to them all.  We do it for you - so keep coming back, mention us to your friends, and most of all pop on your top hat and have a fun and healthy 2007!  Thanks for a great year everybody!

Sugar Shack Souvenir Glasses

A while back we wrote about some girlie barware - drinking glasses with a risque surprise when you spun them around.  In the interest of equal time, we thought we'd feature some glasses with all the surprises up front.  These glasses are souvenirs from the Sugar Shack in Lake Geneva, Wisconsin.

The Sugar Shack departed from the accepted meaning of "gentleman's club", using the term "gentleman" to refer to to the featured fellows performing on stage for the female clientele.  These souvenir glasses date to somewhere in the 70's or 80's, and are rather giant - the ladies hanging out at the Shack could clearly put it away.

I got these glasses years ago at the thrift for pennies a piece, and I still see them for sale from time to time.  The Sugar Shack must have sold a lot of these back in the day for them to still litter Chicago thrift stores 20 years later.

I was surprised to find that the club still exists.  Their website tells the club's origin as a typical American rags to riches story.  Their all-male revue's first male dancer in the 1970's was one of Liberace's bodyguards: Larry Slade.  And to think that I don't have a joke to go here...

You can't take home the dancers, but at least you can have a souvenir glass with a grainy photo of the brokeback cowboy, leatherguy, or Sigfried & Roy wannabes that gave you their all on your special night.

Our prior article on girlie glassware

Personalized Santa Ashtray

I should have probably posted this a few days ago, but it does include good wishes for the New Year as well, so I'm only half late - okay?

If we wanted to, Retro Thing could easily become Retro Tobacco Thing as there are just SO many kitschy novelties associated with smoking.  At the risk of going down that path, here's another item to encourage you to both smoke and smile.

Not only do you have a cute little Santa guy clicking his heels and plucking at his lute (or is it a bowlback lefety Ovation?), there are some holiday wishes spelled out in a jaunty font down below.  What you likely can't make out in the photo is the teeny type that tells us that the ashtray is from smoking well-wishers "Pauline and Mel Williams".

Up above you can see the postcard sized shipping box to mail this ashtray in lieu of Christmas cards.  I found a pile of these at a thrift store years ago, and have seriously contemplated sending them out - especially if I can put my own name on there somehow.   Anyone out there have a way to silkscreen Slavic names onto decades old ashtrays?  ;)

In any case - just like the ashtray says - we at Retro Thing hope that you had a cool yule and also wish you a frantic first!

Enjoy a drag in our smoker's lounge with some favorite past articles:

Apollo moon mission matchbooks
Film industry ashtray
Porsche Design 909 Tobacco Pipe

Manneken Pis Surprise Drink Decanter

How drunk do you have to be before this becomes the funniest thing ever?  There are many fountains that duplicate Manneken Pis, the famous statue of the whizzing boy in Brussels, but who thought to use it as a drink dispenser?

In this case, the plastic replica has an electric pump siphoning booze from the glass bottle and out though his... well, you know.  From the box (styled to look like a box that wine comes in [no, not the kind of wine you DRINK out of the box!] ), I'd say that he comes from the 60's.  However, I found some pretty recent batteries inside meaning that someone tried to relive the hilarity not that long ago.

We shouldn't be surprised that this guy exists.  The original Manneken Pis statue dates back to 1142 (making him Brussels' oldest citizen), and continues to attract tourists today.  As we all know, where there are tourists, there are souvenirs - and an even larger quantity of tacky souvenirs.  The little whizzing boy has been realized as miniature statues, corkscrews (yeesh), and yes - even drink decanters.

The original statue is dressed in various costumes throughout the year, and the changing of these outfits is accompanied by much ceremony and the temporary turning off of the fountain.  The temporary increase in pressure gives the young master a boost when turned back on, spraying delighted tourists.  Seriously, people line up for this event!

It might seem weird to us to celebrate the visage of a boy and his wee, and it does point out an important cultural difference.  Here in the USA a statue like this would be controvertial, some would even label it obscene.  Definitely not the sort of thing that would be commended with novelty drink decanters.  Having said that, and even though I like to think of myself as an enlightened person, I don't think that I'll be drinking out of it.  After all, he's well under age to be serving drinks.

Even a statue can have an official website HERE

A collection of corkscrews you probably don't want to see

Swanky Lady Barware

Honestly we could be here all day if we were to talk about novelty barware.  I don't know when the first ur-novelties might have slithered out of the primordial hops & barley, but I've got to think that since there have been taverns, there have been jokey little things to litter around the bar.  As if drinking alone weren't fun enough...

Here's the gag with these glasses.  On the front of the drinkware are four lovely leisure-time ladies.  Very shapely, yet very pointy in that unique 1950's way.  You may not know it yet, but the ladies' painted-on smirks hide a little secret.

You fill the glasses with some opaque libation, then as the sucker enjoys the drink he'll eventually sight the ladies' backsides from inside the glass!  Ladies in the altogether with only a pair of maracas and a dim recollection of something their mothers warned about virtue.

Of course your victim will just die of embarrassment, right?  Certainly no one in their right mind would ogle the nudies on these glasses.  That would just be tacky.

Lots of novelty barware seems to make much of being a sloppy drunk or a boor.  I don't think that I'm either, and like my novelties to reflect that.  I hope that none of our readers will be particularly offended by these images.  I think that they're more emblematic of boyish mischief than anything else.

Elongated Pennies - Mint Your Own!

Squeeze a penny hard between your thumb and forefinger and what have you got?  The imprint of a penny on your sore thumb.  But you really wanted to crush a penny into an elongated shape with the visage of your favorite tourist attraction on it - what do you do?

Enter the elongated penny machine.  Drop in a penny along with fifty cents to pay for the pleasure of cranking a penny between two ratcheted wheels, resulting in your freshly minted prize.  I've seen these machines at vacation spots, restaurants, I've even seen a version carried around by a street vendor.  They're everywhere.  If you don't care to travel, you can also collect the coins at Penny Collector, Pressed Penny or even Ebay.  Or perhaps we could set something up on RetroThing to trade between different countries, counties, and planets!

History and legality of mooshing pennies

Video Flip Books

Flip Clips is a website that'll convert your AVI movie files into animated flip books. Your source video can be up to 30 seconds and the end result will be from 50 to 150 pages. Priced from $8.99.

If you're the DIY type, you can easily produce your own flip books using flipbook printer.

Flip Clips flip books (onSuper8.org)

Bob Moog Commemorative Vinyl Figure

This vinyl figure came out a year or two ago, well before the world lost Dr. Moog.  The ghostly palor strikes me as a weird choice, but PressPop did a great job on the sculpt.  Lots of nice extra details too, like removable glasses, cloth jacket, and of course a tiny Moog keyboard for the good Doctor to jam on forever.  The box is a definite keeper too.

I think that these are pretty universally out of stock, but a new run is supposedly coming to this country in the future.  The figure costs about $30, so don't let some Ebay dealer take you to the cleaners on this!

As whimsical as this figure is, I think that it's a warm tribute to the man.  Everything that I've read about Dr. Moog paints him as a fiercely intelligent yet humble man.  In the future I have no doubt that someone will erect a marble statue, or a ten foot high relief somewhere.  On the other hand, I think that there's a good chance that he might have preferred to have been immortalized in an affordable and fun little figure.

Press Pop - manufacturer of Moog figure

Orbitz - the Soft Drink, not the Travel Service

Time for a confession.  In 1997, my friends and I were roadtripping to an Amiga convention.  At a gas station, we saw Orbitz for the first time - a new fruity soft drink... with "balls" in it.  The candy balls don't sink or float, rather remaining suspended throughout the clear fluid, emphasizing the lava lite quality of the whole experience.  As a fan of lava lites, I just had to try one.

We all tried the different flavors, and one was more disgusting than the next.  How could something like this possibly have made it to market?  My only explaination is that this was the height of the dot com bubble, a romaticized time when every unconventional and asenine idea could take flight.

I kept this single bottle, and remain surprised that the balls inside haven't rotted or faded.  It's a pretty picture, right next to a lava lite in my office, and I'll never drink it.  Not because I think that it's terribly collectible, but that it's got to be even more terribly bad than nearly ten years ago.  I also have a life rule - never to imbibe a beverage with "things" in it.

If just one of our readers can learn this life lesson from my confession here...

Photos and details of various flavors
A user review
Another review using the words, "deeply gross"

A Chocolate Human Heart For Valentines? 1 lb of Anatomically Correct Chocolate

Pushindaisies.com bills itself as "a mortuary novelty shop." In that vein (har har), here's the perfect Valentine's gift for the Goth in your life: "Made from premium chocolate, they make the ultimate gift for mortuary students, pathologists, embalmers, or your sweetheart. Packaged in a white gift box." Only $16.95, bonus points from me if you send one internationally and it gets inspected by Customs.

Chocolate Human Heart