Retro Thing

REVIEW: Cool Rockets & Z-BAR LED lamp.

Here's another installment of Retro Thing TV!  This time I review two different products that struck me as being from space.  The futuristic Z-BAR is a half-inch slim lamp that bathes you in the light of 66 LED's.  We also look at Cool Rockets, a series of rocket sculptures created by noted Hollywood model maker Jeff Brewer (I recently watched the "making of" feature on The Incredibles DVD, and you can see several Cool Rockets on John Lasseter's desk).

Check out the video, and let us know what you think.  We've got ideas for many more, but we need to know your thoughts!  Oh, and if you like the items you see reviewed, here are some links to Amazon where you can learn how to get your own.

Cool Rockets in several varieties via Amazon's interstellar drydock.
Z-BAR LED lamp brightens up a corner of Amazon.com

Wooden War Engine Kits

There aren't enough trebuchets and catapults in suburbia. Just imagine the fun you could have at a Friday night BBQ with a decent trebuchet. After all, nothing says, "I despise the half dozen rusting cars in your driveway" quite like a flaming rotten sheep arcing over the back fence. Or so I'm told.

To get your feet wet, try building one of these wooden war engine kits from ThinkGeek. The $19.99 catapult has a 10-foot range and measures 12"L X 5.5"W X 5"H. It's made from precut and pre-drilled basswood with spruce/pine/fir main beams. The $34.99 trebuchet has twice the range and measures 18.5"L X 11"W X 13"H, making it slightly harder to hide in your cubicle. You'll need some pliers, wood glue and manual dexterity to complete your mechanical marauding masterpiece.

Wooden War Engine Kits [ThinkGeek]

Peruvian plush toy gives up the orange stuff...

Some sad news from the UK - good old Paddington bear has apparently fallen in with the wrong crowd. We'll soon get word that he's tossed poor old Mr. Gruber into the street and shacked up with Kate Moss. Paddyshambles, we'll call him. Click here to watch the infamous advert.

Paddington Bear ditches Marmalade for Marmite in new TV ad [via Marmite connoisseur Giles Perkins]

Digitally Remastered Star Trek Returns for 2007-2008 Season

Love it or hate it, the digitally remastered original Star Trek series continues this season with the US premiere of "The Galileo Seven" during the weekend of September 15th. The episode first aired in January 1967 and focused on Spock in command of the shuttlecraft Galileo, marooned on a dangerous alien world.

Scotty's infamous transporter wasn't up to snuff in this story, forcing the crew to resort to less romantic transportation. It was the first episode to feature a shuttlecraft and offers brand new visual effects of the Galileo in flight, as well as a rather ominous re-rendering of Murasaki 312, the dangerous space storm that causes Spock and his crew to become almost hopelessly lost.

See the link below for an updated list of stations broadcasting the show this weekend. If you're not quite sure what the fuss is about, Bohus wrote an interesting review when the first episodes of Star Trek:Remastered aired last September. Or you could just follow the jump for a few more pretty pictures...

Star Trek Remastered Station List

eBay: Original Atari Pong Arcade Console

Here's a chance to bid on a piece of video gaming history - an original Pong arcade machine from 1973. The machine is labelled 'engineered by syzygy,' which was Nolan Bushnell's first choice for a company name. Luckily, it was taken(!) and he had to settle on Atari instead.

After trying out the Magnavox Odyssey in early 1972, Bushnell set about building his own version of electronic ping-pong and named it Pong, after the sound the ball makes when hitting the table. It was a runaway success. Magnavox quickly claimed that Atari had infringed on their ball-and-paddle gameplay and sued. The case was eventually dropped when Bushnell agreed to pay royalties on each Pong unit sold. Almost 40,000 Pong coin-operated games were manufactured, making it the first smash hit arcade video console.

eBay: Original Atari Pong Console

Painfully Funny Vintage Microsoft Videos...

Words cannot possibly describe how amazingly awful these Microsoft promotional videos are.

Windows 386: I know it's not polite to stare at a woman, but I couldn't take my eyes off her absolutely enormous glasses in this promo for Windows 386. I'm amazed that she doesn't walk into doorframes wearing those things. I'm not even going to comment about her rapping skills. We'll leave that bit as a complete surprise...

Steve Ballmer pitches Windows 1.0: Ballmer is the multi-billionaire Chief Executive Officer of Microsoft. After watching this video, it's easy to understand how he reached his illustrious position: He outclassed the hell out of everyone with his impeccable fashion sense and brilliant oratorical skills...

Windows 95: By the time Windows 95 was released, Microsoft had risen to become the leading software company on the planet. Their marketing budget knew no bounds, and they were able to hire A-list Friends Matthew Perry and Jennifer Aniston to pitch their slick new operating environment...

MS-DOS 5 Upgrade: It's a 1980s rap. About an operating system upgrade. And I'm truly sorry for tricking you into watching it...

Cassette To MP3 Transfer Service

Lets pretend you have a heap of old cassettes that haven't seen the light of day for over a decade. Your ex took the cassette deck and vintage boom box when she trashed the living room following the infamous "naked coed in the kitchen" incident, and you haven't owned a car with a tape player since you crashed your 1987 Honda Civic CRX. What to do?

Cassettes2CDs.com can help with their no-hassle conversion service. You send them your old tapes or LPs, and they'll rip them onto CD or straight to MP3 for your iPod. Tracks are properly split, artist/album tags are added, and low volume tapes are "volume maximized" (compressed? normalized?) They will even fix your tape for free if it doesn't play -- although we probably warned you that Ramen noodles, scotch whiskey and electronics don't mix -- Or maybe that was my ex before she slammed the door.

The company offers a prepaid mailer service within the continental USA. Packages start at $79 for up to 10 cassettes, including shipping.

Cassettes2CDs - Convert your cassettes and records to CD or MP3

Related:
Birth of the Compact Audio Cassette
Introducing the Real Inventor of the Walkman

Updated Stylophone Electronic Instrument

What's not to love about the Stylophone? This buzzy miniature electronic instrument first appeared in 1967. It tormented parents for a year or so before gaining notoriety in the hands of David Bowie and Rolf Harris. Thirty years later it made a guest appearance on Erasure's single "Don't Say Your Love Is Killing Me" in 1997. And now it's back!

UK retailer Firebox.com is taking pre-orders for a new £14.95 version that is slated to ship on October 12th, 2007. It features the vintage look of the original, along with two new sounds to accompany the buzzy original. An 'MP3 function' is included with a two way adapter that allows you to mangle accompany your favorite tunes. Hopefully, the modern version uses the same quirky voltage controlled oscillator design as the original, which links each of the metallic 'keys' using a different value resistor. Powered by 3 x AA batteries (not included). Considerable skill required to make good music (also not included).

We first wrote about the vintage Stylophone in 2006, complete with a link to "Particle Man" by They Might Be Giants.

Stylophone Original product page [via Retro To Go]

Europe: Retro Event Roundup

Here's a random roundup of Retro events taking place across Europe in the near future. Not that we're in Europe right now...

20 + 21 October: Retro-Technica 2007 in Fribourg, Switzerland. The 15th annual technical jumble sale featuring office machines, computers, toys, film & video devices, electronics and more. Admission : 8 CHF (adult) children 6-16 2 CHF.

20 October: 4th NOMOS Super 8 Film Awards at the Babylon cinema in Berlin Mitte. A great opportunity to view some cutting edge Super 8 films in a classic cinema. There will be a film fair earlier in the afternoon, with exhibits from manufacturers and dealers. Contest entries will be accepted until October 1st, so it's still not too late to enter your Super 8 masterpiece and walk off with a great prize.

2 + 3 + 4 November: 8th Annual EUROCON classic games convention and trade fair.  Zutphen, The Netherlands at the Golden Tulip Resort Hotel

1 + 2 December: 3rd annual Toma Unica, the International Super 8 single cartridge festival in Madrid, Spain. Entrants can use any type of Super 8 cartridge and make in camera edited films about any subject. Once completed, cartridges can be mailed directly to the festival organizers. Films will then be screened with or without any accompanying soundtrack, or with live music, and for the first time! Submissions must be made by 1st October 2007, with notification made by e-mail of basic film information to tie up with the film coming back from the lab. More details can be found on the official website: www.tomaunica.com

Atari Video Music: Psychedelic 1970s Music Visualizer

I'm sure that developing video games for Atari in the late 1970s was an incredibly stressful job. There are several stories circulating about how the software team used mind-altering substances to help them transcend to a higher plane of pixelated paradise. It seems that the hardware guys also loosened their ties and got into the spirit of things.

How else can one explain the psychedelic Atari Video Music? This odd beast was styled to resemble a high-end stereo component and produced a kaleidescope of weird video effects that pulsed in time to your favorite Kraftwerk or Pink Floyd LPs. If offered a pair of RCA audio inputs and an RF video output, along with a series of buttons to select several profoundly named effects including Solid, Hole, and Ring. There is also an Auto mode, just in case the unit's owner is unable to escape the giant blue spiders long enough to press another orange button in a timely fashion.

The Video Music was released in 1976 as an ill-conceived attempt to bridge the video gaming and home stereo worlds. It was a crude precursor to the modern visualization functions that are standard fare in every mp3 audio utility. The design itself appears to be based on a custom digital IC driven by analog inputs.

I'd love to take one of these apart to find out how it works, but they're extremely rare. In fact, the only one I've ever seen is lurking in Retro Thing author Bohus Blahut's living room, patiently awaiting the day that I dismember it with a screwdriver while he isn't looking.

Atari Video Music [Technabob]

DIY: Shiny Metal Boxes

Creating electronic gadgets can be a lot of fun, especially if the device is something cool like a tube amp or unique mini PC case. Crafting a decent home for your invention can be a bit of a bother, though. Many DIYers shoehorn their designs into an existing box from companies such as Hammond and Bud Industries. Another popular option is an old school wooden case, but these are expensive, time consuming and heavy.

There's now a better way. Protocase is a low volume metal case manufacturer based in Nova Scotia, Canada. They can customize an existing design or work from your sketch on the back of a napkin. Unique angles, custom cutouts and integrated mounting points are no problem. The final masterpiece can be powder coated and silk screened. The process is ideal for high quality semi-custom commercial products that will be sold in small quantities: expect to pay $100 or more for each finished case in small batches of around ten pieces.

To make the design process as simple as possible, the company offers Protocase Designer, a free software package that allows you to choose from a number of popular templates or build a completely custom 3D model of your desired design. Once complete, the design can be electronically submitted for production.

Protocase Incorporated - Custom electronic enclosures

A Glimpse Into 1999 (circa 1967)

Here's a "Fingertip Shopping" segment from a 1967 film by the Philco-Ford Corporation that lays out a charmingly sexist vision of the year 1999. This suburban American family lives a lazy pushbutton life devoid of Nirvana, video games, lip piercings, CDs, same sex marriages and mobile phones.

The whole thing has the air of a Soviet propaganda film, especially the mysterious Communal Service Agency that maintains the computer systems. Check out the Kitchen of the Future segment, too. It features some delicious computer cooked frozen food. I wonder if they serve borscht?

[via Paleo-Future]

Real Safe For Your Treasures

I don't know what the financial situation is with kids today, all I know is that I see way too many young children with multi-hundred dollar iPods and telephones.  Back in my day having a nickel was like having fifty dollars.  Okay - that's a little bit of an exaggeration, but I'm a penny pincher from way back and I always needed someplace safe to keep my lucre.

Piggy banks and tinplate band-aid boxes were nice for secreting away money from grandma, but they just don't afford the security a mini vault does.  Just like the safes threatened by highway robbers and cartoon cowboys, these mini vaults are made of real steel with a nice big combination lock dial on the front.

The level of "security" varies on these vaults.  This yellow cash box mostly relies on a psychological barrier for thieves to chisel through.  It has a dial  combination, but it's only there to confuse your enemies because it doesn't do anything- you still need a key to access your treasure. 

The dual door vault is best out of all of these for concealing your Lego-sized gold bullion.  It has dual combination wheels (Psych! Only one does anything), and opening the door triggers an alarm bell.  That may seem elaborate till you realize that this is a Mosler Junior - Mosler was a maker of real safes all the way back to 1867.

I lost the combination to the one of these that actually has my money in it, so pardon me while I sandpaper my fingertips, put on my stethoscope - and hum "The Entertainer" and "There Goes a Tenner".  Be "safe" everybody!

Help out Retro Thing when you buy a steel safe in a variety of colors

Here's a larger safe with alarm system

RIP: Classic White iPod Now Qualifies As Retro

I've been gleefully awaiting the day that the ubiquitous iPod qualifies as a vintage device.

It happened yesterday, when Apple abruptly stopped selling the iconic white soap bar design. iPods now sport a rainbow of 'anything but white' cases. Even the hard drive based iPod Classic is offered only in silver or black. I guess one can honestly say that silver is the new white.

It's been a wild and totally rad ride for Apple. The iPod is just shy of seven six years old, with over 110 million units sold. Along the way, the company has strengthened the Cult of Steve to the point that fans are addicted to a stream of engineering miracles every few months. "Smaller, sleeker and cheaper" has become Apple's mantra.

Still, I have my doubts that the day will come when vintage iPods are bought and sold as collectibles.

They're being marketed as high-end disposable devices, which doesn't bode well for the future. People treat them like mobile phones, expecting to replace them every year or two. As a result, the shiny cases are quickly scratched and marred, and the occasional drop onto concrete is commonplace. The non-removable batteries are sure to cause headaches because of their short lifespan. Let's hope they don't leak as they age.

A third strike against the collectiblility of the iPod is its utter reliance on a computer: I have my doubts that vintage iPods will be able to communicate with any of Apple's products in 2027, limiting it to the 'attractive but useless' category.

Inside Look: Birth of the iPod

Oh, how I wish...

"What you'll use is called, simply enough, a Picturepone(R) set. Someday it will let you see who you are talking to, and let them see you." Or not. Damn, I wish the future had actually happened.

From the Flicker vintage ad pool