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"Beware Of Dog" Sound FX LP - Security At 33 RPM
By bohus
The thing I've collected for the longest time is probably sound effects records. Ever since childhood, I loved putting FX records on and just imagine being transported to all kinds of places. It also made me aware of just how different "Ford Triumph Door Slam" and "'48 Packard Door Close" could sound.
Sound effects records usually fall into two categories. Some records have discrete sound effects for you to plug into a movie or audio project. Other records create a whole atmosphere, be it a haunted house or a gentle brook. This record is an oddball combo of the two.
"Beware Of Dog" was published by Audio Fidelity in 1971, a label that put out dozens of SFX records for decades (they were also the first label to release a stereo record commercially). Most have individual sound effects, though some are soundscape records - railroad trainyards, nickelodeons. This record devotes each side of the LP to 20 minutes of a mean-sounding dog (sometimes a few) barking.
The way that you're supposed to use this record is to leave it on while you're out of the house. If you had an automatic turntable, you'd have it continually play the record while you're gone to give potential malcontents the impression that you've got a mean junkyard dog loose in the house. To quote the LP jacket:
"This unusual recording presents ... a watchdog at work, reproducing the full-throated sounds of savage vigilance in a surprisingly varied and completely real 'performance.' ... It could serve... in your absence to provide your home or apartment or automobile or office with a convincingly realistic guardian, as the repeated sounds strongly suggest to passerby or would-be intruders that they Beware Of Dog."
"Automobile"? For all those people with record players in their cars? Car thieves are going to run away from the sound of a giant invisible dog? Using the record to guard your house might have a chance of working, I guess, though the cavernous stereo-era reverb might tip off the bad guys.
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