Retro Thing

Koko The Clown Destroyed The World 85 Years Before "2012"

It's funny to see critics recoil in disappointment at "2012", the latest installment in the disaster film genre. While these flicks are often fun, they are less often any good. I like to have fun at the movies with explosions and karate and all of that, but overindulgent effects-driven movies leave me with a hunger that not even a $20 bag of cinema popcorn can sate. Besides, I find today's hyper-realistic images of destruction far more disturbing than entertaining. I'd prefer that someone bring back the cardboard carnage of Gamera movies...

The story that took the producers of "2012" kerjillions of dollars and more than two hours to realize was done better by the Fleischer brothers in a five minute cartoon in 1928. One of my favorite eras in animation is the late silent/early sound period, and back then the Fleischers were among the best. Few could match the draftsmanship and the daftness of their cartoons. After nearly a century, these cartoons still have boundless snap, pace, and energy. The thickly nibbed line of the characters preserved the look of the animation through countless reproductions of these film elements. Even an image quality robbing trip through the patented YouTube Image Grinder can't keep this pair down.

  
Koko the Clown and his dog Fitz circumnavigate the globe to find the control center for all the earth. A mischevious Fitz can't leave well enough alone, even betraying animated "reality" to bring about a Fleischer fuelled cataclysm. The last minute has some great real-world animation that folks would refer to as "Gilliam-esque" just a few decades too early. If you've never seen Koko, this animated end of days is one of his best silents. Who said that psychedelic insanity needs to be in color?

related:
ACME Corporation online catalog
Bill Jackson's brilliant "Cartoon Town"

eBay: Vintage Russian Monosynth

Although the auction calls the RITM-2 the "Russian Minimoog," this simple little analog monosynth has little in common with Robert Moog's classic instrument. Still, it looks cool. Despite having only a single oscillator, it offers a reasonable variety of waveforms (saw, sine, PWM, noise). To dirty things up a bit, the VCA can be internally overdriven with the gain knob, resulting in heavy distortion. Needless to say, there's no decadent MIDI interface or glittering capitalist LCD display.

The synth ships from Vienna and is apparently in good technical and physical condition, with no crackly potentiometers. The power supply and audio circuits have been professionally converted to Western European standards (220 sizzling volts of fun).

Ritm-2 Analog Synthesizer Beige Face [via Matrixsynth]

Your Very Own Vintage Rocket Launcher

I'm not really sure what I'd do with a personal rocket launcher (apart from getting arrested), but owning one was definitely a boyhood dream. That dream can now become reality for a mere $199.99.

In return for  your hard-earned cash, Centerfire Systems will send you a battered and dented Spanish rocket launcher manufactured in the 1960s or 1970s. It measures 70" and includes the original optical sight, eyecup, shield and bipod stand.

Sadly, it's been deactivated to BATF specs so you won't be able to enjoy the delights of drunken cow hunting.

Spanish Bazooka with Shield [via @mrbill]

This Little Radio Desperately Wants To Mate With Your Netbook

The Logitec AM/FM USB radio stick is proof that vintage technology isn't always the best solution for the 21st century. The receiver plugs into your notebook so you can listen to (and record) old fashioned terrestrial radio.

It's kind of like enjoying your mp3 collection or favorite streaming music service, except with much lower fidelity and frequent interruptions by loud people trying to sell you things.

The FM/AM stick can receive most strong FM stations, but you'll need to plug in the 3m external antenna to get a good AM signal. It's got a magnet on the back, so you can string it above your seat and fasten it to conveniently exposed metal while riding the bus. There's also an optional coax hookup should you wish to run an extension cable from your TV. Kinda defeats the whole idea of having a portable computer, doesn't it?

This ridiculous replacement for a $10 portable radio can be yours for an unspecified price, starting in early December 2009.

USB compatible FM / AM radio tuner "LRT-FMAM200U Series" [via Akihabara News]

The Atomic Pocket Watch

What could be cozier in the wintertime than a shiny new atomic watch?

Hammacher Schlemmer claims their $149.95 timepiece is the world's only pocket watch to synchronize with the WWVB Atomic Clock time signal broadcast from Fort Collins, Colorado.

That claim aside, the ad copywriter has obviously never owned a quartz watch because s/he also claims that "it will never gain or lose a second for 30 million years." I beg to differ - the watch battery hidden within the svelte 2-inch surgical-grade stainless steel case will probably need replacing after a mere two or three trips around the sun.

What else? Well, there's a 14-inch stainless steel chain with lobster clasp to keep it firmly attached to your carpenter's jeans at all times, and the LCD display toggles between day/date and second mode. Huh. Somehow I thought the Atomic Age would be far cooler.

The Only Atomic Pocket Watch [via The Red Ferret Journal]

The Coolest iPod Dock Ever

Pete Verrando wrote with news of his latest creation: "I just finished this, and thought it looked nice, so I thought I would show you. I do a lot of vintage restorations and mash-ups such as this. Some of them are on the main website under 'Radio Room.'

Inside the vintage cabinet is a 10 watt integrated solid-state amplifier, and a high quality Blaupunkt 5 1/4" coaxial loudspeaker with a massive ceramic magnet. The cabinet is air-sealed and fiberglass blanketed to create an infinite baffle enclosure. The inset side panel offers bass/treble controls, left and right RCA line inputs (sealed), and two 1/4" jack inputs, hot enough for a microphone or electric guitar. Also included is an iPod dock/charger that plugs in directly to the side panel.

The cabinet is a vintage Philco Dynamic Tester, from 1946. Known then as a Signal Tracer, which is just a small amplifier/speaker combination with an external probe for fixing audio equipment."

Absolutely stunning.

Vintage Philco Signal Tracer becomes Retro Ipod Speaker Amp

New Egg-Shaped Chair With 5.1 Surround Sound

 
Since the introduction of egg shaped chairs in the late 60's, many different styles occasionally appeared in movies depicting the future, or perhaps a scene showing some high style culture maven. In the "Men In Black" movies, egg chairs were even included on the movie posters. I've only seen actual egg chairs a few times in person. The most remarkable might be a 1970's flavor that had been removed from a Playboy club. It was a 2 seater, featured a yolk-colored corduroy interior (blech), and featured speakers built into the sides so that you and your bunny-eared companion could listen to some smooth jazz in relative comfort. 

If the thought of decades of horn-dog conventioneers having use the seat before you is a little creepy, there is an all-new version of the audio-equipped henfruit being introduced in just a few months. The Sound Egg features 5.1 surround sound (though it can be configured for stereo), and comes in a variety of colors for the outer shell as well as the sound-proofing foam within. While originally developed as a mini-environment for testing audio gear, the remarkable chair generated enough interest to encourage manufacturer Acousticom to hatch it as a new product.

The market is flooded with heap seats with built-in speakers that are aimed at avid video gamers. This chair gives the anti-social game player a fuller audio experience via the surround sound speakers built in (the subwoofer is built under the seat), while minimizing disturbance to others. Of course movies and music are an obvious candidate for critical listening within this self-contained chamber. At $1450 the Sound Egg isn't exactly a mainstream product, but is positioned to be surprisingly in reach by more than just the Austin Powers audiophile set. Just so long as the listener doesn't mind looking a little like Mork from Ork.

link:

Product page for the Sound Egg

related:
Even more 1970's design photos
Pocket Adder - save the economy in earth-toned 70's style
TV-Pow! - interactive gaming via 1970's kid's TV

Lather, Rinse Off Radioactive Material, Repeat...

Here's a freebie bit of retro consulting for all you modern media moguls. Are you tired of the fallout from the many makeup removal commercials that are just like yours? Electrify your audience with a dazzling day-glo demo of your product by including some low level radiation. That's right, when Dorothy Gray Cosmetics promises to make your face glow, they deliver like the Enola Gay. Here's a 1950's TV commercial that shows just how atomic the atomic age was.

related:

Ad for the unfortunately named game "Ball Busters"
Scary low budget commercial for children's clothing store
Breakfast with Nintendo spot; it's not a "cereal", it's a "system"

Listening In On The Apollo 11 Astronauts... From Home

Back in July 1969, amateur radio buff Larry Baysinger managed the impossible by listening in on transmissions from the Apollo 11 astronauts during their historic lunar landing. 

The Louisville Courier-Journal reported, "Thanks to some homemade electronic equipment, including a rebuilt 20-year-old radio receiver from an Army tank and an antenna made of spare pieces of aluminum, nylon cord and chicken wire, a small band of Louisvillians was able to 'eavesdrop' Sunday night on the American astonauts' conversation directly from the moon.

The odds and ends of equipment recorded only 35 minutes of conversation between astronauts Neil Armstrong and Edwin Aldrin on the lunar surface and their orbiting companion Michael Collins. But the signals were received directly from the moon, over a quarter of a million miles away, not through Houston Space Center."

Brilliant stuff. I wish we could recapture the excitement of the space race instead of squandering trillions of dollars irradiating vast swathes of desert with depleted uranium.

Read: Lunar Eavesdropping in Louisville, Kentucky [via Make]

Vintage Synth Trump Cards

Just spotted on Matrixsynth: Vintage Synth trump cards, the perfect xmas gift for fanatic synthgeeks. £6.99 including postage.

"Can you use your skill and judgment to become the undisputed champion of vintage synth wisdom? Playing is easy. Simply divide the cards between the number of players before taking it in turns to read aloud a statistic from your card. The highest scoring instrument in that category wins that round. The person who gains all the cards wins."

GForce Vintage Synth Trumps

Telehelper 1600 - Let Your Fingers Do Less Walking

 
I've been using Google Voice for a week or so now, and I love it. It's one of those things that delivers on the promise of the computer... to make life easier. Of course, free phone calls aren't bad either. The system has an interesting approach to working with your existing telephone. You type out the phone number you want to call via Google Voice, the system calls your telephone, and after you pick up it rings through to your party. Very slick, and I didn't have to do anything at all to change my conventional phone service.

I imagine that people would prefer to dial directly, but I sort of like the delay. It reminds me of big bosses behind massive desks in old movies smashing down the intercom button to bark out, "get the Prime Minister on the line for me!". That idea is from a time when your job could actually include looking up and dialing a number for your boss - so he doesn't have to.

Somewhere between cigar chomping chiefs of old and Google Voice came devices like the Telehelper 1600. It's a desktop device that "records" phone numbers so that you can speed dial one at the push of a button. Of course this facility is built into many desktop phones and even cell phones today, but back in 1983 you'd have to plunk down about $65 to get the sophistication and convenience of one touch dialing.

Such high prices were the norm in those early days of phone service deregulation in the US (an answering machine from the same product line fetched more than $200), but it wasn't long before speed dial buttons on phones lightened the load on harried secretaries everywhere.

related:

PhoneMate Model 500 - voicemail in the early 1970s
TeleQuest Fiero Plus Phone
Another Sparkfun rotary mobile phone

"RPG Quest - Minimæ" Ultima Style Adventure For iPhone

I have to admit that I've never participated in a role playing game. In the 80's, a group of my friends wanted me to join their... I dunno what to call it... coven? This was the time of D&D's popularity, and also heightened fear of the occult being invoked by 20 sided dice. That's not what kept me away, but I saw the appeal in RPG's. The vast adventures and the lengthy campaigns all made for an intriguing and flexible game. Now as an adult, I sadly don't have the time to devote to such a thing, not even the computer variants that have cropped up in all the years since.

Ultima was the biggie in the 80's on North American computers (the rest of the world mostly did battle via Dragon Warrior and Final Fantasy). Ultima captured the sprawl of the RPG world, but also included "feelies" in the box. These were props and souvenirs that appeared somewhere in the game. These coins and cloth maps inspired other publishers to do the same. One only has to look at the madness of Infocom packages to get a feeling of how extensive & massive these game packages got. These "feelies" also formed part of the copy protection of the game - you needed these physical props to complete the adventure.

On the opposite end of the spectrum is my very clever friend Robin Harbron. A few years ago he created a Commodore 64 Ultima styled adventure game, and managed to fit it into an astonishingly tiny 2K (later bloating the game up to 4K adding, among other things, joystick support)! The game has been very popular, even making it as a hidden game onto the famous C64 plug & play joystick.

Now you can join in the fun without digging out your old Commodore. Robin and his P1XL partner Sam Washburn bring us appealing new retro-inspired graphics, and an all-new chiptune score that's both authentic and appealing. Minimæ's interface is simple--just swipe and tap to move your brave adventurer. The rules are simple but the gameplay is surprisingly deep, with a variety of pixellated nasties, puzzles to solve, and secrets to reveal. It's everything you'd expect from an old-school RPG in the shiny black modern trappings of the iPhone.

Robin is one of my favorite Canadians, and that's not just because he brings Coke sweetened with sugar (instead of corn syrup) to the Chicago Commodore 64 expo every year. His games are super clever, and you'd be lucky to meet a kinder soul. This first release from P1XL is only $2.99 from the App Store, so let's try to make it a hit, eh?  Don't worry about the medieval "æ" character confusing your search. A search for "Minimae" or "Minima" will still turn up the game... and that's only your first search along the way to greater treasure, adventurer.

links:

Minimæ homepage
Start your adventure by visiting iTunes

related:

New hombrew RPG for Sega Genesis
Myst comes to iPhone
The iPhone even has LED Football

Remembering The Sega Master System

The Nintendo Entertainment System gets a lot of praise from gamers. And why not? It had great games, introduced a bunch of classic franchises, and revived the video game industry after Atari went ahead and screwed it up. It deserves to be celebrated. We may be on a budget, but don't worry, we're going to have confetti. Just remember - clerks want you to buy the candy first before you take the wrappers.

But back in 1992, all I knew was that we owned a Sega Master System, and it was awesome.

Another Unfortunate Font Cliché

Fonts have been much on my mind lately thanks to a project I'm working on. There are certain font cliches out there that I'm sure we all suffer through every day. My friend Tony pointed out the overuse of "Curlz", "Fiesta" pollutes every retirement party invite and daily specials at Mexican restaurants, and let's not even consider the unspeakable horrors visited upon us by users of "Comic Sans" (the 2004 Canada Day collector coin, for one...).

Who knew that "Trajan" has commited crimes on an even larger scale in just the last few years? According to this video, a surprisingly large number of movies use Trajan as their title font, trailer font, or as part of the DVD packaging. There must be some Trajan-friendly focus group somewhere that made this happen. If you've seen the brilliant documentary film "Helvetica" (created for the font's 50th anniversary), you know how easily a font can become so ubiquitous that it can lose some of its power.

Why do certain fonts hold our fascination more than the many other varieties out there? I guess because they still work. "Verdana" still looks great, "Times New Roman" will live forever, and "Georgia" is a classic that we even use around here on Retro Thing. Just please make it so I don't ever have to see "Magnetic" or "Chicago" again.

Pick up the documentary "Helvetica" on DVD from Amazon

related:

Typewriter parable - How far have we come?
Tippa S portable typewriter by Grundig-Adler
Terrific typewriter titillation

RotorWay Unveils "Affordable" New Turbine Helicopter

RotorWay has been manufacturing recreational kit-built helicopters for almost 50 years. The company has produced several thousand kits over the years. The only problem is that it takes a minimum of 350 to 400 hours to build a kit, not including the time required to properly balance the blades, get it FAA certified and perform flight testing. 

Enter the RotorWay Eagle 300T, the company's first certified (ready to fly) production helicopter. It incorporates a Rolls Royce RR300 turbine engine designed for low-cost operation and high reliability (the turbine also doesn't require 100 LL fuel, which is becoming increasingly rare outside the USA).

Eagle 300T Preliminary Specs

Powerplant	RR300-B1
Seats	2
MAUW	2050lbs (930 kg)
Empty Weight	950 lbs. (431 kg)
Cargo Sling Max	500 lbs. (226 kg)
Useful Load	1100 lbs. (499 kg)
Fuel	80 US gal. (302 L)
Duration	2hrs +30 min res
Cruise	110kts/127mph
Service Ceiling	13000ft (3962 m)

The company is currently accepting deposits for the new craft, although the final price is still to be decided. All they're saying for now is that it'll cost more than a Robinson R22, which retails for $243,000.

RotorWay Eagle 300T Helicopter