Retro Thing

Coke Introduces New Suicide Machine

On a recent visit to a burger joint, I spied a large touchscreen on the soda machine. The old dozen or so choices weren't enough. As more and more of these machines hit fast food establishments, the thirsty customer will be able to chose from over a hundred of different soft drink combos. You can get a Coke with a squirt of orange (a mix previously only available in Russia and Baltic countries), a confusing combo of Mello Yello and grape, etc.

When I was a thirsty kid and feeling nonconformist, I'd mix a "suicide".  This was rare because the soda fountains were seldom within reach. Remember, this is before limitless free self-serve refills. A suicide is when you take a little hit from each of the soda nozzles. You could end up with a mix of root beer, orange, Sprite, RC... All together in a mixture so volatile it might melt the bottom out of your wax paper cup.

For some reason, it was sort of a forbidden act. The lunch ladies at Ponderosa were convinced you were getting away with something when they spied you taking taking multiple hits off of the soda dispenser... and now Coke blatantly encourages this kind of behavior with what amounts to a jukebox for soda pop. Man... I used to be such a rebel.

The new machine is called Free Style, and they've been around since 2009. It's an impressive technical accomplishment. Instead of replacing only a few bags of syrup from time to time, there are dozens of little plug-in carts the vendor has to have on hand to snap in. To prevent this tragedy, there's a scary amount of carbonated thinking inside the machine. Not only does the machine notify the supplier when things are running low, but it also sends Coke data on trends of favorite drinks.

How long before the machine recognizes the fingerprints caressing its touchscreen, then automatically pours you a frosty cup of your fave suds? Your poor neighborhood bartender won't have a chance. I don't know if such a baffling variety of choices ultimately leads to more soda sales, all I can think about is that it must be hell for the clerks running the drive thru.

I'd say more, but I'm heading out to the patent office. I'm working on a machine that dispenses ten kinds of ice.

Transparent Typewriter; Perfect For Ghostwriting

I saw this totally clear typewriter at one my favorite Chicago haunts; American Science and Surplus. They traffic a lot of odds and ends there, and even they didn't know what this was. I initially thought it was some salesman demo or a "test shot" (a term from the plastics industry when they create a transparent prototype to spot any molding problems), or perhaps yet another late 90s iMac tribute. Then it ocurred to me that just like our popular post on a transparent TV set, this typewriter must be for use in jails.

Turns out that this typewriter is the Swintec 2410CCi Clear Cabinet Electronic Typewriter. Their tagline is "clearly, the smart choice" which is more than just cute marketing. The transparent case is so that prisoners can't use the typewriter as a place to stash contraband. Even the ribbon cartridge is a specially manufactured clear one. Also there are as few metal parts as possible so that prisoners cannot pull off pieces to "convert" for other purposes (i.e. impromptu "shank").

Even though most clacky typewriters have been silenced forever, Swintec still does good business on these $200 typewriters even today. Prisoners can buy the unit through the commissary with money that's usually sent in from the outside. Many prisons offer some sort of limited computer access today, but there are those who prefer to write up their legal documents and correspondence (called "kites") on an old typewriter – which is in point of fact not that old. This model was developed and began manufacture in the early 2000s.

Even if you're not writing your prison novel while doing "Buck Rogers Time" (a sentence with a parole date way off in the future), you can get one of these typewriters. This clear model is available to the general public on Swintec's website. General manager Ed Michael of Swintec says that plenty of people on the outside buy the clear typewriter "because it's pretty".

link:

Swintec website

Classic Buck Rogers Rocket Sculptures

In the early days of Retro Thing, we wrote about Cool Rockets, model maker Jeff Brewer's series of superlative rocket powered sculptures. Originally inspired by the 50s, Jeff has gone back further in the past to bring us farther into the future. His newest models are from the world of Buck Rogers, that wild 1920s comic strip that helped give birth to science fiction.

I got to see the Buck Rogers battle cruiser and the Asterite craft recently, and they continue the tradition of high quality coming from Brewer's spacedock. Hand-finished and poised for liftoff, each ship is fueled up and ready to go on those post-depression adventures of the funny pages. While his prior Cool Rockets were imbued with a spark of attitude (several of the designs looked ready to flex and spring into action), the Buck Rogers ships play it straight, serving as a tribute to those designs that launched so many imaginations so long ago.These Buck Rogers rocket sculptures are limited to a thousand pieces, so they won't be in our orbit for long. You can click below to find one on Amazon, and you'll be helping out Retro Thing along the way.

Add Buck Rogers' Battle Cruiser to your fleet

Cee Lo Green + Rock-afire Explosion Live In Las Vegas

Two retro-fueled YouTube phenomena take the stage in a series of live shows in Las Vegas on February 27th. A couple years back, Cee Lo Green's Motown inspired grooves hit the net with a song who's name we're reluctant to say on a family website. You can hear a bowdlerized version on the radio called "Forget You", but it lacks the juice of the fiery original. It's a hysterical tune that namechecks Atari among other things, and the accompanying music video is a retro delight (you can spot a Casio SK-1 on the counter top in the diner). Love that song, and it went huge on the internet.

Another massive phenom on the net also goes back a few years with the Rock-afire explosion. This all mechanical group was the house band at kiddie pizzerias in the 80s. The robots don't really play the instruments, but their animated automaton antics won the hearts of many a joyous face covered in birthday cake. When Showbiz Pizza transformed into Chuck E. Cheese, some determined fans bought the old Rock-A-Fire robot "show" and reprogrammed them to sing new songs. It's both amazing and unsettling to see these cherished children's characters grinding ouut some sexy R&B beats. The internet went crazy, and there was even a fine documentary (watch it HERE for free) produced about the phenomenon.

Aaron Fechter, inventor of the Rock-afire Explosion, has been at the helm of this reprogramming scene. We've seen the RF band appear in music videos and feature films, and today the band takes up residency as part of Cee Lo Green's live Vegas show at Planet Hollywood opening the show with a rousing Rock-afire rendition of "F*** You".

"Cee Lo grew up having his childhood birthday parties at Showbiz Pizza Place in Atlanta," says Fechter, "and now, he's bringing his childhood's first live band, musical influence with him!" This is a seven week engagement, with a hint of possible further performances after that.

If I were in Vegas, I'd grab a couple slices of cheap pizza and join the party. Any of our readers local and able to go?

Everybody Needs A Passenger Train In The Basement

Jason Shron is a train fanatic who built a replica VIA Rail train car in his Toronto basement. His crazy scheme involved purchasing a retired VIA coach and stripping the seats, groovy Seventies carpeting, luggage racks, coat hooks, garbage receptacles, signs and everything else he could get his hands on. 

Shron explains: "Some guys have model trains in their basements. Some guys have some memorabilia from real trains in their basements. I think I can safely say I'm the only guy in Canada with a real train in his basement. 

We each have a favourite place: a place where we feel completely at home, where the stresses and headaches of daily life seem to melt away and we can just chill and regroup. My favourite place is on board the VIA train, especially on board the VIA trains of my youth, riding the Rapido between Toronto and Montreal. Now I have this special place in my house."

I suspect Jason will find it incredibly hard to sell his house if he ever wishes to move, but at least now he can grab his favourite seat by the window and wonder if the train will ever leave the platform... just like the real thing.

KingstonSub [via Hacked Gadgets]

Inventor of Rockafire Explosion Discovers 1992 Demo Tape

A few years ago an internet community reared its mechanical head via YouTube. Fans who idolized the robot band that performed at Showbiz Pizza (a cousin of sorts to the current Chuck E. Cheese Questionable Pizza Emporium) bought the entire robot setup from closed restaurants and started programming their own shows. This became a sensation on YouTube, spawned a documentary, and efforts to mutate pop music through these pizza shilling robots continue.

During the production of the documentary, filmmakers spooled through hours of tapes that inventor Aaron Fechter hadn't seen in decades. They found these demo clips that show off what else Fechter was working on besides the Rockafire band we all know. There's an alien band, a Wizard of Oz show, and a Santa who I'm pretty sure started in a little early on the egg nog.

1950s Typewriter For The Ladies & Special Nail Polish

The atomic age office brought with it reams of typing, work which was usually reserved for women. Underwood, the famous typewriter manufacturer, responded to a consistent complaint of secretaries; chipped fingernails. Instead of chuckling at the stereotype, let's examine Underwood's two-pronged solution - a newly shaped typewriter key, and Underwood nail polish.

The Underwood 150 introduced half-moon shaped keys, giving long fingernails a chance to slip into the spaces between keys rather than striking the usual large button-shaped keys head on. Now you can preserve your blood-red talons rather than risk (quoting the ad): "short unfashionable fingernails". The typewriter also promised "kitten soft" key action (who writes this stuff?), so you don't have to mash your fingers down on the keys so much just to make the 150 work. I'll remember that next time I'm slamming out my resume on a baby cat.

The other tool to keep your fingernails and hands (again, quoting the ad...) "lovely to look at, lovely to touch" (they're not encouraging inter-office hanky-panky here, are they?), Underwood also introduced their own nail polish. It looks like it might have been more of a free marketing come-on rather than something you'd pick up at the five and dime. The "Underwood Red" polish promises durability above all, and claims to have been styled by "Beauty Consultants". After thinking about it, I suppose the combination of impact-resistant nail polish and the specially-shaped keys on the 150 could actually have helped eliminate the irritation of chipped nails. Though, why didn't that half-moon key shape stick around? Next time you see a woman with smashed up fingernails that can only be battle scars from a mid-century typing pool, maybe you can ask her for us.

A BiC For The Ages

It's so hard to choose the right color...

CJ writes, "Thought of something recently that I fondly remember from school 30 years ago: the Bic 4 color pen. Did you ever have one of these? I remembered these from when I was a kid; it was an awesome pen! I was surprised to find they still make them.

I found one an a local Office Depot and bought one for my daughter as well. I had one of these 30 years ago in school. They look and work exactly they same as they did back then. Amazon has them as well."

Weirdly, I picked up a box of a dozen Bic Crystal pens -- the ultra-cheap ones -- just before Christmas. I think my subconscious was mulling over the hand cramps I endured while writing college exams at the end of every semester. Either that, or my brain was rebelling against my iPad addiction.

Celebrate 48 Years Of Being Exterminated By The Daleks

This last weekend marks the 48th anniversary of Doctor Who. Eventhe show was rested for a number of years after it's 26 year long run, the blockbuster six year success of the rebooted series shows us there's still life in the old beast yet.

Speaking of beasts, the good Doctor's main beast is just a few weeks from celebrating a birthday. The Daleks premiered in the show's second multi-part story on December 21st, 1963. To be fair, all we got that night was a POV glimpse of it's infamous sink plunger arm. It may sound like a cheap move, but it made for one of the most terrifying cliffhangers in the series' history. Our first proper look at a Dalek would have been December 28th in '63.

When fans first heard of the show's return in 2005, one of he first questions was whether the Daleks were coming back. Behind the scenes the production team was having diffuculty getting the rights to use the classic bad guy. Eventually resolved, the Dalek's comeback was shrouded in secrecy. Despite a leaked cellphone picture of the new prop, seeing the updated Dalek design on TV was no less exciting. At last it looked as badass as we had always imagined it to be.

In recent years, the prop has undergone a more radical design change. The "new paradigm" Daleks are much larger, and come in a whole range of candy colors (inspired perhaps by the gaudy 60's movies?) denoting rank. We still haven't really seen these new guys in action, so I'll reserve judgement for the new Lego look-alikes until we do.

Instead let's consider the little Dalek sculpture made of scrap metal at the start of this post. I always imagined Daleks to be heavy and metallic, and this guy is - even though he's only about 8" tall. I got him off of Ebay years ago from an artist who did a lot of similar sculptures of sci-fi gear and motorcycles. The price was right, but shipping was murder coming from halfway around the world. Still, I've had him guarding my front door for years now. He does make for a dangerous nemesis even at this reduced size. First, you're looking at pretty severe lacerations if it so much as falls on your foot. Second, the sculpture included a stern warning about washing your hands after every handling of it. The "real" Daleks would be proud.

related:
classic chrome remote control dalek
genuine dalek prop found in swamp
scrap metal robot for $20

Chocolate Records That Really Play

Gio writes, "Hand made chocolate records that actually play music! Yummy." This is neither a kind nor high fidelity thing to do to your turntable, but it's clever. [YouTube via DIY Audio Projects]

Your Boat Is Better With A Nice Johnson

As a city boy, I don't get to make recreational boating much of a part of my life. One of my best friends in college came from a rural area that was relatively close by, so we'd drive up to his family's house and bomb around in his boat. It was the first time I'd ever been in a boat with a steering wheel. The only other boating I'd ever really done was canoeing while camping, so the high-tech addition of a 25 year old Johnson outboard motor was a totally new experience for me. It also introduced me to a whole culture of lakeside people who use their motorboats to run errands as often as I might use a car. There was even a bar that you could only access by water, and we spent many a summer evening meeting boat people, downing beers and smelling the rotting bracken.

This old commercial for Johnson motors reminds me of the fun we had in that old boat. It makes me wish that perhaps one of these days life will lead me down a path where I'll be able to get my hands on a little boat of my own, and of course at the same time grab my own Johnson.

related:

An inflatable flying boat
"Tug Boat" board game
German version of classic game "Battleship"

Your Own Dental Office... On A Train

Frank writes, "I came across this auction for an old train that's been converted into an amazing dental office. I think it might actually make me want to go to the dentist."

I concur. This three car train is located on a large commercial lot in Spokane. It has operated as a fully equipped children's dental office for the past 30 years. The front car is set up as a reception area, with 6 dental workstations in the second. The caboose is configured as the doctor's private office with an old railroad wood stove.

The train is available for lease at $2500 per month, or purchase outright on eBay for $375,000. I wonder how I can squeeze in the time between posts to attend dental school?

Dental office and land! Complete three car train [eBay]

Robot Readamatic Helps Slow Readers Pick Up The Pace

 
It may be cliche, but whenever I see a device like this, I feel certain dystopian willies. Maybe it's too much post-apocalyptic scifi, or perhaps one too many viewings of "Brazil", but heavy and unsympathetic learning aides leave me wondering when the robotic tutorial overlords are getting here.

This device hails from a pre-apocalyptic 1963. The Readamatic Pacer is designed to increase reading speed. Twirl the knob to the number of words per minute you want to read, and the mechanical arm reveals a line at a time. I'm a pretty fast reader, so I tried the old boy out. I was able to keep up with its top speed I'm proud to say, but the whirring of the Readamatic was distracting. Perhaps its due to age, but even in top form I've got to think that the screw drive and metal slat scraping across the page might be more than just a bit off-putting.

 
Interesting detail is that there are three scales on the speed dial. These are to accommodate different sizes of books (smaller book = fewer words per page). According to the manual, it's designed to speed up the rate of slow or lazy readers, or can also be used as a way to retrain readers to slow down if they are breezing too fast and have poor comprehension. Makes sense, though perhaps the fact I've never seen one of these before might be testimony to its not having been a great answer. Decades later, we still don't employ speed-reading robot tutors as far as I know. Or perhaps there's some robo-speedreader e-book app I don't know about?

related:

My newspaper doesn't want me
NASA unveils free e-book series
Extremely odd book titles

The Grid Beam Building System

Imagine if real world objects were like Meccano sets -- standardized bolt-together components that made it quick and easy to design, share and build everything from furniture to vehicles. That's the idea behind the Grid Beam system, which has been around since the mid-1970s.

Phil Jergenson, one of the founders of the system, says, "It has all the advantages of an industrial building system: standard, modular sizes; uniform materials; and interchangeable parts. Projects knock flat and are easy to transport. Since the pieces can be used over and over again, grid beam is easy both on your wallet and on the environment -- we have been using some of our components for over thirty years."

Jergenson's book, How to Build with Grid Beam, includes hundreds of photos of real projects built over a sixty-year period, showing the many uses of grid beam, from shelves for college students to projects involving alternative energy.

Grid Beam Building System

Happy New Year With A Lucky Pig For Your Model Railroad

 
Happy New Year from all of us at Retro Thing! Thanks for another great year, everybody. If we could give each of you a present, it would be wonderful to follow the old German custom of giving a pig-shaped marzipan candy (if you haven't had marzipan you're missing out, I grew up on the stuff) called a Glückschwein, or "lucky pig". If we started right now, it would take a year to give all of our readers a bite of lucky pig, so instead we're sharing this mechanical version made by Märklin.

You may recall my fondness for Märklin Mini-Club trains, better known as Z-scale. Marklin has produced many limited edition collectible trains, but few as novel (and downright odd) as this one. Even at barely over an inch long, this lucky pig is a plucky motorized model train engine. It even has couplers so it can pull freight along the pike (alarming all those centimeter high people who live in your plastic town). It goes without saying that it's not based on any actual prototype of a pig-shaped train, but is an endearing little model nonetheless.

So if you were here right now, I'd give you a bit of marzipan and let you have a turn running this little model pig engine. Until then James & I wish you the best for the coming year, and our profound thanks for joining us on the adventure that is Retro Thing. Stay tuned for lots more great things to come in 2010! Oink!