Retro Thing

Transformers (Sort Of) Padlock (Sort Of)

I wasn't the right age to be fascinated with Transformers when they were new, though I did like a lot of the early all-metal robot toys. It was almost like a three dimensional puzzle, and when you were done you could admire the cleverness of a racecar that turned into a robot. Quickly the knockoffs came, with often shamefully poor representations of the transforming robot concept, and looked lbad whether vehicle or robot.

In addition to the little vehicles, there were also converting toys that were in real-world scale. In the original toyline, the lead bad guy, Megatron, transformed into a kid-sized chrome handgun (which seems almost unimaginable now...) - way out of scale with the rest of the lineup of cars and jets and so on. They came up with an explanation of sorts in the cartoon, but since the big-budget films, they've neatly avoided those weird size issues by redefining many of the stock players.

The movies don't seem to feel any obligation to stick to the specific robot forms of the old characters. Now pretty much any earthly object can become a transforming robot thanks to the Cybertron mojo that hops into it (I think... those movies are darned confusing at times...). This new approach feels to me a bit like Frosty the Snowman coming to life thanks to that magic hat, but Transformers fans really don't like it when I say stuff like that.

This knockoff transforming toy is named "Lock-Man" (how many memos got passed around to approve THAT name?) by a company called Four Star. By day, he is a mild-mannered ineffective all-metal padlock (Why "ineffective"? That dial on the front does nothing. The lock opens with a button on the side). However when trouble strikes, he transforms into the Johnny Long Torso of robots. But to help you, he'd have to unlock himself to run to your rescue - right? Wouldn't that leave your valuables unprotected? Seems like the Decepticons would have figured that out too.

I have to admit that even with my fondness for odd ideas (you're looking at a whole website full of 'em!), and poorly thought out rip-off products, Lock-Man is pretty lame - even for a knockoff (the original design is Bandai's "Metal Joe"). But at least he's not a Go-Bot, okay?

 

Science Fiction Thimbles - From The Future!

Even around this house, these things are weird.

Like every kind of object in the world, there are collectors for thimbles. Of course, that crowd is going to create new collectibles for their own delight. If you asked me, I would have denied it, but I guess it makes a kind of sense that someone would create sci fi thimbles.

There's no year on the Dalek thimble. My guess would be the late 70s when the show was seeing a tremendous surge of interest thanks to Tom Baker's portrayal. The thimble is genuine ceramic, with a little gold trim on it. I could see it being a cherished little thing for someone's collection back then. The Dalek is slightly misshapen, as they often were in merchandise. They're such a weird shape, especially if you're barely attention.

The other thimble is even odder. It's just cheap cream-colored plastic. There's a very cheap-looking stamp of Max on the front, with "COKE" listed four times on the obverse. In red. In an unimaginative typewriter font. Clearly not an official product, instead clearly a cheap and odd cashing in on the late 80s fad. Which makes it all the more lovable.

I do love these two thimbles at the front of a shelf in my office. To me, they represent the breadth of sci-fi thimble making technology (as far as I know - I've got a lot more research to do). Not only can you show off your science fiction allegiances in your sewing basket, but you can tell everyone that you have your very own Dalek that helps keep all the little pricks away.

Retro Shanghai: A Trio Of Bizarre Transformers

Transformers have been back for a number of years thanks to a couple of overblown feature films, and a relaunch of the accompanying toyline. I wasn't the right age to play with Transformers the first time around, but I had a passing interest in the cartoon and the core concept. Some of those toys are amazingly & pleasingly complex, even (or maybe especially) for an adult. I have a couple around my office, mostly amusing models that convert into truly stupid non-robot forms. I've got a pinball machine, a one-armed bandit, even a deadly cash register.

Walking around Shanghai's open market, I got the idea that transforming robot toys never truly went away. Despite the Transformers reboot, there were still plenty of converting robots that were truly dopey. I saw one that converted from a panda to a bad-ass looking battle robot... with the head of panda (I know, I know... I should have bought it).
Then there was this trio of robots. It looked like they'd been hanging in the shop for ages. As robots, they look formidable enough (except for the one that has a surprised face for a crotch). I pulled them out of the package. The toys are made of such a fragile plastic, that an afternoon's place will reduce these robos to deadly shards... (much like the old Dapol Doctor Who figures). After you follow the microscopically printed directions to convert the robots, you're left with... well, I don't know what you're left with.

Okay the green one is some kind of robo frog who can hold accessory tadpoles in his special tadpole compartment. I'm taking on faith that these gray plastic squiggles are tadpoles, and not sperm. Admittedly this guy's transformation is pretty much a cheat since you basically fold the robot a few times, and then plug on the frog body. It's sort of like you have a battle robot that likes to curl up inside a frog-shaped cozy.

Yellow stripey converts into a giant bumble bee while you stare transfixed at his second crotch-face. That might not sound especially scary, but just remember how you acted the last time you had a bumble bee after you. Now enlarge that by a thousand, and imagine that bee as a diesel burnin' robot (or mutant pollen spores... I don't really know). Pretty clear threat, I'd say, especially if you're allergic to bee stings.

Finally, you've got a robot that converts into... I don't know... a battle-ready roll-on deodorant? Ignoring for the second time the crotch-located face, what in the heck non-robot are we looking at here? To clarify this point to Transformers designers... Non-robot mode is a disguise, or some kind of vehicle (or an outscaled gun, but that's a different story).Perhaps these robots are part of a different psychological approach against the enemy. Befuddle the bad guys, then transform into a robot and throw your tadpoles at them.

The back of the package shows that I missed models that transform into a shark (fair enough), and a grumpy public garbage can (I need a lie down). Do any of our Chinese speaking readers have any insight into these robots I brought home with me?  Since these robots are half animal, should they have been quaranteed for six months at the border?

Retro Shanghai: Two Feet Of Cheap Ultraman Figures

Even the Shanghai shopkeepers who didn't specialize in toys seemed to have a few of these on their walls. These carded instant toy collections are truly massive. This Ultraman themed set measures a massive 2 feet long!

We've written about Ultraman before. It's one of japan's earliest entries into the guy-turns-into-a-giant-robot-to-fight-monsters-while-Tokyo-crumbles genre. it was one of my favorites when I was a kid, so much so that I turned into a pile of kiddish thrills when the series came out on DVD just a few years ago.

The series was so successful that it spawned literally decades of sequels, all featuring members of the growing UltraFamily. This toy set is a loose collection of UltraSiblings of some sort, designed mostly for economy. The figures are of the cheap blow-molded variety, with just a spritz of paint and movement limited to some very stiff shoulders.

The proportions are more cutesy than lean and mean. This caricatured look is common in even the most serious Japanese manga and anime, referred to as "super deformed" or "chibi". You'll also notice that this is not a set of six unique Ultras - it's a set of three repeated figures. Cheap move, but at least you won't mind sharing your dupes with your stupid little brother.
The set includes a pair of monsters, five vehicles that may or may not be from the series, and a kid-sized gun (reminds me of a similar kiddie pistol with a rude name) for helping old UncleUltra dispense with the baddies. So cheap is the gun that the stickers are only applied on the side of the gun you can see through the packaging! There's a sheet of stickers you apply yourself. I suppose it's a labor-saving move. Kids like stickers, right? I'm sure in the time it take to put stickers on, they could make another dozen guns...

Clearly the gun is meant to be a battery powered noisy/flashy sidearm (the grip's sticker says "electro indicater (sic) system" which sounds deadly enough...), but from the looks of it, they forgot the electronic guts. The design ethos of these sets is bold packaging, a bewildering number of parts, all at a bargain price. Plus you can hang this attention-getter on the wall of any store, even one without a dedicated toy section.

The economy of this toy reminds me a lot of green army men, who's main attraction was their cheapness. This whole UltraArmada set me back some five bucks, and I must admit to being drawn to how low end the toy is. It'll likely stay in its package, not out of a misplaced sense of preserving its "collectibility", but because the art of it is in the whole package... the whole cheap package.

Buy the entire 60s series on DVD for under $10, and help Retro Thing

RoboCop Reboot - Can The Bubble Bath Be Far Behind?

I haven't been paying much attention to the many needless remakes of classic films over the last few years. I did give a couple reboots a chance (Star Trek 2009; fun. Star Trek 2013; out of ideas already?), but for the most part the originals are just that... original. You can make the argument that the reboots create a new audience for movies that could use more attention. Ehhhh, maybe. I don't think that film producers enter any of these projects with the desire to honor the past. They want to make a buck now, and it's way easier when you're trading on an idea that was already a proven success.

A movie who's central theme has stubbornly eluded the makers of sequels and upgrades is 1987's RoboCop. I love that movie, and I'm not alone. Fans recently raised over $60,000 on Kickstarter to erect a 10 foot statue of the cyborg in RoboCop's fictional home town of Detroit. I'm still proud of having sneaked myself and a date into the film when we weren't yet quite old enough to see it. The sequel from a few years later was okay, but by RoboCop 3 the concept had been watered down to what felt like Saturday kiddie matinee filler. Robo's third outing was saddled with a PG-13 rating, likely in deference to the youthful audience who had watched the RoboCop cartoons that had run on TV for a number of years. Yes, a cartoon based on an R rated film that no kid should have seen.

In 1994, a live action RoboCop hit first-run syndicated TV. The series actually did come close in later episodes to understanding what made the original film so great. When you strip away the violence and the tech, at its heart RoboCop is a black comedy, a satire on the excesses of the 80s, and a world where high-priced executives are no better than the street thugs they're determined to wipe out.

RoboCop3, the various cartoons, and the TV series meant more tie-in merch on shelves than ever. I can understand an action figure line, model kits, video games, comics. Those all make a kind of sense. But bubbles and bubble bath? An allegorical fantasy about the triumph of human spirit against encroaching technology in a world that had lost its soul... immortalized by bubbles.

The bubble bath is just that. Pry off Robo's head and wash behind your ears. "RoboCop The Series Bubble Buddies" includes scented bubbles (long since evaporated), a bubble wand built into the cap of the bottle, and a "removable pocket pal". That's right. You can pull Robo off (complete with his flamethrower arm) the top of the bottle and stuff it in your pocket. Fun. He's your pal.

There's certain to be another flurry of merchandise around the new RoboCop film set for release in 2014 (A February release too - never a good sign). The trailer doesn't exactly inspire confidence (several shots owe a great debt to Iron Man). I'm certain that we'll have a lot more to say as the release comes closer, and we'll see more and more crazy merchandise hit store shelves. Will the new film inspire gear as low as the original film's bubble bath? Bubble bath?!?!?!

Cee Lo Green + Rock-afire Explosion Live In Las Vegas

Two retro-fueled YouTube phenomena take the stage in a series of live shows in Las Vegas on February 27th. A couple years back, Cee Lo Green's Motown inspired grooves hit the net with a song who's name we're reluctant to say on a family website. You can hear a bowdlerized version on the radio called "Forget You", but it lacks the juice of the fiery original. It's a hysterical tune that namechecks Atari among other things, and the accompanying music video is a retro delight (you can spot a Casio SK-1 on the counter top in the diner). Love that song, and it went huge on the internet.

Another massive phenom on the net also goes back a few years with the Rock-afire explosion. This all mechanical group was the house band at kiddie pizzerias in the 80s. The robots don't really play the instruments, but their animated automaton antics won the hearts of many a joyous face covered in birthday cake. When Showbiz Pizza transformed into Chuck E. Cheese, some determined fans bought the old Rock-A-Fire robot "show" and reprogrammed them to sing new songs. It's both amazing and unsettling to see these cherished children's characters grinding ouut some sexy R&B beats. The internet went crazy, and there was even a fine documentary (watch it HERE for free) produced about the phenomenon.

Aaron Fechter, inventor of the Rock-afire Explosion, has been at the helm of this reprogramming scene. We've seen the RF band appear in music videos and feature films, and today the band takes up residency as part of Cee Lo Green's live Vegas show at Planet Hollywood opening the show with a rousing Rock-afire rendition of "F*** You".

"Cee Lo grew up having his childhood birthday parties at Showbiz Pizza Place in Atlanta," says Fechter, "and now, he's bringing his childhood's first live band, musical influence with him!" This is a seven week engagement, with a hint of possible further performances after that.

If I were in Vegas, I'd grab a couple slices of cheap pizza and join the party. Any of our readers local and able to go?

Inventor of Rockafire Explosion Discovers 1992 Demo Tape

A few years ago an internet community reared its mechanical head via YouTube. Fans who idolized the robot band that performed at Showbiz Pizza (a cousin of sorts to the current Chuck E. Cheese Questionable Pizza Emporium) bought the entire robot setup from closed restaurants and started programming their own shows. This became a sensation on YouTube, spawned a documentary, and efforts to mutate pop music through these pizza shilling robots continue.

During the production of the documentary, filmmakers spooled through hours of tapes that inventor Aaron Fechter hadn't seen in decades. They found these demo clips that show off what else Fechter was working on besides the Rockafire band we all know. There's an alien band, a Wizard of Oz show, and a Santa who I'm pretty sure started in a little early on the egg nog.

1960s Ray Gun Made Of Space-Age Cardboard

Before space patrol issues you a real ray pistol, they may have you practice your "pew pew" gun skills with this cardboard replica. It's got a deadly looking ("deadly" in that it looks like it might not be well insulated against all of that killer voltage") gun printed on both sides as well as a folded over hinge along the top.

The surprise comes if you hold the gun slightly open and bring it down quickly. A pocket of paper flaps out quickly with a loud crack. My gun is a little out of comission because it is quite old (clearly my weapon fell through some fissure in time connecting the 50th century and the 1960s), but an intact gun will issue a loud report.

While scarcely a replacement for a classic plastic or tinplate ray gun, but as a freebie with a business name printed on it... not too bad. Though labeling it "all mechanical" is a little optimistic.

Cool thing for you, dear reader, is that I found an eBay seller who has some new old stock for just a few bucks, so you can have the real thing that's intact enough to actually have fun with. You can also fold your own popper by following the link below. It won't look as cool as the paper ray gun, but it's loud enough to get you kicked out of a Junior High School lunchroom as I recall...

links:

New old stock of cardboard ray guns
Loud origami popper instructions

Playskool Rockin' Robot - The Grinning Cassette Recorder

If there's a theme we encounter time and time again here on Retro Thing, it's the irrational emotional bond people form with retro tech... but this 80's (or 90's? This particular one is labeled 1991) tape recorder makes me a little uneasy. Is it just me, or is it almost like this kiddie cassette player is looking and grinning at us?

There have been lots of tape recorders (fewer these days, I suppose) made expressly for children. Usually these were just chunkier versions of regular adult tape recorders with giant colorful buttons. Playskool took kid-friendly design that extra step to create a funny faced recorder that my adult friends seem to take a shine to, even today.

As a budding junior audio engineer, I would have killed for a tape recorder with features like built-in AM/FM radio, and a hardwired mic for recording my own tapes as well as barking out my demands over the PA system. It's in this public address role that we saw the Rockin' Robot make an appearance in the first two Toy Story movies. Our lanky lead, Woody, used Mr. Mike (the recorder's stage name) to make speeches to the other characters.

Mr. Mike was even issued in non tape-recorder mini version as a Toy Story tie-in later in the 90's. The hard-to-find toy includes a voice-changer to turn you into any of several robots, which is very cool... but doesn't really explain the high prices either version of the toy seems to command on Ebay. I've seen this analog relic go for over a hundred dollars - which may be just enough to break my irrational emotional bond with this grimacing tape deck.

70's TV News And The Dangers of Dart Guns

This may look like a typical TV news clip from 1977 (from Chicago's WGN Channel 9 as it happens). It's a fairly standard TV news theme from around the holidays. First, spook viewers with the possible threats posed by popular toys, then pit the poor reporter against these perilous playthings.

In this clip, our hapless correspondent shows us the dangers of a suction cup dart that refuses to stick to its target. Many, many times. Okay, that's kind of funny... but stay tuned past the bloopers to see the outrageous 70's newsroom and the atomic yellow blazers on our three correspondents. If anything, Ron Burgundy went too subtle.

Don't touch that dial yet... Channel 9 used to show the local weather in lieu of closing credits. The footage underneath the weather text is test footage of the notorious Shogun Warrior toy. Watch one of the missiles aimed on purpose at the eyes of a goggle wearing kid. These vinyl robots were a massive 2 feet tall - and were massively popular back then. They were super-colorful with wild designs not typical of American robo toys... but the main feature was always the sheer number of projectiles the robot could deploy. The results of tests like the one featured here declared the toy too dangerous to children's eyes and respiratory systems. It's hard to disagree.

The Shogun Warrior is, sadly, a mostly forgotten toy of the 70's, the ban of the toy led to its rarity. I'd actually kind of like one now for my shelf as they are so outlandish and huge, but they command real money on Ebay. You may recall that we featured a Shogun styled Stormtrooper limited edition figure a while back. I've since seen it in person, and it's amazing. Hopefully more Shogun styled toys are in the pipeline. Now that we're adults maybe we can just play with our toys responsibly, and avoid ending up on the evening news.

[Sharp eared Retro Thing readers may recognize the unusual music from the closing credits. The bleeps and bloops are from the seminal electronic music album "The In Sound From Way Out", featuring synth pioneers Jean-Jaques Perry and Gershon Kingsley.]

Thanks to Fuzzy Memories, the amazing online museum for classic TV fans from Chicago and beyond.

related:
Collectible stormtrooper style Shogun toy
Memories of the Zanbots
Qonto: another forgotten late 70's Japanese toy robot

Celebrate 48 Years Of Being Exterminated By The Daleks

This last weekend marks the 48th anniversary of Doctor Who. Eventhe show was rested for a number of years after it's 26 year long run, the blockbuster six year success of the rebooted series shows us there's still life in the old beast yet.

Speaking of beasts, the good Doctor's main beast is just a few weeks from celebrating a birthday. The Daleks premiered in the show's second multi-part story on December 21st, 1963. To be fair, all we got that night was a POV glimpse of it's infamous sink plunger arm. It may sound like a cheap move, but it made for one of the most terrifying cliffhangers in the series' history. Our first proper look at a Dalek would have been December 28th in '63.

When fans first heard of the show's return in 2005, one of he first questions was whether the Daleks were coming back. Behind the scenes the production team was having diffuculty getting the rights to use the classic bad guy. Eventually resolved, the Dalek's comeback was shrouded in secrecy. Despite a leaked cellphone picture of the new prop, seeing the updated Dalek design on TV was no less exciting. At last it looked as badass as we had always imagined it to be.

In recent years, the prop has undergone a more radical design change. The "new paradigm" Daleks are much larger, and come in a whole range of candy colors (inspired perhaps by the gaudy 60's movies?) denoting rank. We still haven't really seen these new guys in action, so I'll reserve judgement for the new Lego look-alikes until we do.

Instead let's consider the little Dalek sculpture made of scrap metal at the start of this post. I always imagined Daleks to be heavy and metallic, and this guy is - even though he's only about 8" tall. I got him off of Ebay years ago from an artist who did a lot of similar sculptures of sci-fi gear and motorcycles. The price was right, but shipping was murder coming from halfway around the world. Still, I've had him guarding my front door for years now. He does make for a dangerous nemesis even at this reduced size. First, you're looking at pretty severe lacerations if it so much as falls on your foot. Second, the sculpture included a stern warning about washing your hands after every handling of it. The "real" Daleks would be proud.

related:
classic chrome remote control dalek
genuine dalek prop found in swamp
scrap metal robot for $20

Steampunk Robot On A Budget

The worldwide retailer Crate & Barrel got its start here in Chicago in the 60's. For many people it was their introduction to reasonably priced furniture and imported design sensibility & materials. The barrel has burst all over the world, even spawning a youth-oriented store called CB2... though they've mostly lost the "reasonably priced" aspect of the store's origin.

There are notable exceptions, like this scrap metal robot. He's a handsomly assembled melange of brassy castoffs and cute details, such as dainty metallic cuffs and a big gauge in his tummy. The robot is normally a thrifty $20, but right now is on sale for a nifty $14.95 - a price that clearly doees not compute. Heck... the scrap metal value may be more than that these days. You can find cheapo robo at your local CB2 or via their website.

One note. The website makes mention each being "unique". I thought that meant there were different robot styles, but they're referring to the natural differences in the finish of the metals they're using, as well as different markings on the gauges. So you completists don't need to be compelled to buy more than one.

Oh, and for you cynics out there... no, this post isn't buzz marketing for either store. The only benefit we get out of this post is knowing that our brother robots can find homes with Retro Thing readers.

link:

Get your $20 scrap metal robot for $14.95

A Bluetooth Enabled Omnibot... That Watches TV?!

Nothing says "Welcome home, Master" quite like your own robot butler offering up a half-gallon glass of cheap whiskey at the end of a long day.

That, apparently, is what Tomy's marketing department had in mind for the Omnibot in the mid 1980s. Sadly, it required a human slave to type the appropriate command sequences on the remote control, which were then recorded on futuristic tape cassettes.

Fast forward twenty five years, And DJ Sures bought a vintage Omnibot from eBay and spent a few days wondering how to modernize it.

He started by disassembling it and giving it a good wash in the dishwasher: "It had a lot of dirt from the previous owner. It was rather disgusting, actually. Once it was clean, I painted it white with plastic paint and primer.

Then I started hacking away at it; adding new features. I added servos for the arms, so they can move now. I also made the head rotate left to right with a servo. I then added a wireless camera between its eyes (looks like a nose lol). I put a wireless microphone in its chest. I used a dual HBridge to control the standard motor and gearset."

The hardware robot controller is an EZ-B, with a servo-swept ultrasonic distance detector that feeds an object and wall avoidance algorithm to keep from scuffing his spiffy new paint job. The robot can even detect if its wheels are stuck.

He continues, "I have enhanced my motion tracking code for better edge detection and increased speed. I have also added a few global variables to his AI which allows him to like and dislike certain colors and shapes. He takes pictures of things he likes and saves them to the drive.

This robot is now currently my autonomous household watchdog and pet. He's always on and his 6 volt 4 amp rechargable battery runs all day. He randomly does things on his own and wanders around my house. It scares some people, but real neat for others!"

One Seriously Hacked Tomy Omnibot

Original Energizer Bunny Up For Auction

Heritage Auction Galleries in Dallas is selling one of the six original Energizer Bunnies. They claim, "This is an original Energizer Bunny created by Academy Award-nominated special effects artist Eric Allard and his company All Effects. Having appeared in more than 100 television commercials since his debut in 1989, the Energizer Bunny is an advertising icon that just keeps going and going and going... so much so that AdAge.com named it #5 on its list of the Top 10 Advertising Icons of the 20th Century. Included is a letter of authenticity from Allard."

The reserve price is $15,000, and they expect the furry little animatronic icon to fetch as much as $30K. At that price, your credit card payments will just keep going and going...

Original Animatronic Energizer Bunny [via Technabob]

Full-Sized Daleks - Practice Exterminating Your Friends And Loved Ones

You can now get full-size reproductions of Doctor Who's most famous mechanical nemesis - The Dalek. This Planet Earth was able to get their hands on some of the BBC's prized props and the result is a series of bang-on replicas. I didn't realize that Daleks are a lot like cars - they came in a seemingly endless array of colors with a dazzling assortment of lumpy colored accessories. The price? Around £2000. The manufacturer's FAQ helpfully explains how you can convince your spouse to let one of these mechanical monsters through the door:

"You can either tell them before you receive the Dalek or surprise them when it arrives.If you tell them before, explain that it is an investment. No-one else has made them before, and that it's not often that you treat yourself to something that you've waited twenty or more years for.If you decide on the surprise approach it may be preferable to show them the various parts making up the Dalek 'one at a time' over a period of a few days.The instant shock of seeing the full item in all it's glory may be too much for them."

Oh, they also have Cybermen and a full-sized Tardis (alas, I've already purchased the one containing Billie Piper).

Dalek, Tardis, Cyberman and K-9 replicas (via The Red Ferret Journal)